The Whirly Bird Whirls at Midnight

Grackle has been a busy dude, lately. Much of it unnecessary, but busy nonetheless. Included in the mayhem; a knass-tii viral attack on the office machinery during an obscene week of work obligations, dart league playoffs (and I am in the finals), the death of a friend's family member, a rather upset domestic room mate and I am sure there is more chit that escapes me during this all-nighter occupational effort.

Hopefully, by the end of this day, the corporate obligations will have subsided for a day or so and I can send up an account of a couple of truly odd encounters from this week.

I also had some plans for a photo essay featuring a Battle of the Slugs, but we are supposed to have the annual war rains and thunder storms. I suspect that should keep me indoors and away from yard work...just when I was beginning to enjoy it.

Back to the task at hand.


The Pure and True American Descending

I read this over at Cmblake6's Weblog and it started an unsettling process of thought. He merely lays out a list of fact-based evidence and more or less leaves his readers with task of pulling it all together. Well, that it did for me and perhaps I am simply paranoid and devoid of a reasonable thought process on the matter, but once all the evidence is compiled, one does have to wonder. I imagine that I should post the linkage as he has, but once posted with such elegance, why play with redux? Go take a look for yourself and find your own conclusion.

Here is mine.

Maybe I'm a little behind the curve, but it just occurred to me that there could be a more sinister plot going down.

Ethnic Cleansing.

Or at minimum the transfer of majority to minority. Perhaps I am a simple dolt at times living in an online world of comic narrative and blog cartoonery, but it seems to me that if our government embraces the medical abortion of Americans, the abolition of war against our enemies, the financial destruction of our fiscally strong, and the legal importation and naturalization of foreign citizenry without proper due process, then doesn't it stand to reason that the pure and true American is the perceived enemy of our own state?

Is it even plausible to think that the current socialistic policy that is being legislated against us has an even more subversive plot? If this is the case, then millions of pure and true Americans (Democratic voters) are being duped into not only voting in the power of our demise, but they are the ones pushing for the legislation to empower our pure and true enemies without a clue of what is really happening.

If there is a transfer of majority, then in the not so distant future, can we expect a civil war between them and us, with them having the political power over the pure and true America? I expect that by then many of the Democratic voters will have witnessed the err of their ways and will join the fight. At least this is my hope, if and when our enemies seize power over us.

Keep in mind, before anyone accuses me of racism, that I am simply asking questions. I honestly believe that the pure and true American is one born of many races and nationalities. Sadly, many of those same Americans cannot grasp the real identity of who they are and what could or should be their true American potential.

It seems unfathomable that our conservative fears of socialism from a year and a half ago which were labeled as racist and fear monger, have not only come to pass, but are largely accepted and even embraced by those hoisting the accusation. I am speaking of the common American voting Democrat and not their elite who are leading them to slaughter.

Let's suppose for a moment that our international military prowess is diminished to a point of vulnerability and that our enemies hold as much, if not more, domestic political clout than we to the degree that our position in society becomes an inverse.

It almost seems reasonable to suggest that the rise in illegal immigration of foreign nationals combined with the increasing favor of the Muslim-Arab influence is a sinister movement to hand over the Land of the Free to the subversives.

I realize this notion of ethnic weakening is far fetched and reeks of paranoia-based conspiracy theory, but as the old saying goes, the frog is more tolerable of a gradual warming than it is of an instant boil. By ignoring the possibilities, we allow ourselves to simmer in our own descension - do we not? If this seems lunatic fringe, then snapshot Europe and the gradual degradation of it's nationalistic public majority within each state's individual border.

If our current direction continues, then at what point do we all come to realize that we are standing in a stew awaiting the consumption by our enemies?

And when we finally find that realization, what then, will be our recourse?


Rockin' Friday - Get Me Out Of This...

by Manafest

Yeah, it's another Christian band and since I feel like I've been in an Avalanche all week, this works.

From the Wednesday Email Box

This is nothing new to anyone who reads this jibber-bloggery, but it is rather sobering when you see it all compiled.











* A JOB,













Just Some Things I Have Lying About the House

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed. - Second Amendment to the US Constitution

Note: The stick is a piece of red oak from a tree in my yard. I cut it to about 30", carved the bark off of it, sand it to a high satin state, then stained and sealed it. It's weighty and hard as a fuggin' rock. I think everyone should be thinking about alternate forms of self-defense weaponry - be creative in all aspects. I have several other projects in the works like potato thumpers, etc., because you just never know.

I don't care how they try to re-interpret the 2nd Amendment, those words are probably most clear in meaning than any other sentence in the US Constitution.

Quite frankly, it would take an act of war to revise it's meaning and there would most certainly be an act of war following such revision.

I remember one day at work, a colleague and I were paging through a sales magazine. We paged over to the gun storage items. He pointed out the plastic burial tubes for various rifles. They were on sale.

I simply said, "The day it becomes necessary to bury my guns, will be the exact day it would be necessary to dig them up."

Spider Talk

This is a Spider. (Sun Spider)

This is a spider on drugs.

This is a spider on me. (re-enactment**)

This is me on a spider.

Any questions?

** - Re-enacted because spiders do this.


Dry Ice vs Cinder Block - No Contest

No words are necessary.

Toys for the Cool Kids and a Couple for Cool Grown Ups.

While cruising around the webernets, I once again landed on the BoingBoing.net website. Such a wonderous and joyful toy land over which to peruse.

The following items caught my attention.

Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks
They didn't have this stuff when I was a tot. But, my youngest niece is getting some for her second birthday. Bank that! I especially adore the "Y" block.

A - Appendages | B - Bioengineering | C - Caffeine | D - Dirigible | E - Experiment | F - Freeze ray | G - Goggles | H - Henchmen | I - Invention | J - Jargon | K - Potassium | L - Laser | M - Maniacal | N - Nanotechnology | O - Organs | P - Peasants (with Pitchforks) | Q - Quantum physics | R - Robot | S - Self-experimentation | T - Tentacles | U - Underground Lair | V - Virus | W - Wrench | X - X-Ray | Y - You, the Mad Scientist of Tomorrow | Z - Zombies

This is Spinal Tape
I have no idea what to use it for, but someone made it and mass produced it. I wonder why? Various steampunk projects? The name is hilarious though.

Steampunk Figurines from Mauser Earth
Some are cool, some are nutty.

RoboGames 2010 - Mech Wars!
Oh, if you don't like this chit, then burn your science club cards. I want me some. They fire projectiles - .22 caliber, I think it said.

Robot PetMan Walks 4.4 MPH
Kind of creepy, but dang cool!

Do You Like Boobs A Lot?

Because Mr. Basterd over at Feed Your ADHD posted this, I felt a proper throw back response was necessary. Why? Because I happen to like boobs a lot and because I got "bust"ed by my mother watching a song video of this late one Saturday night on TV (boob-tube) when I was 14 or some chit. Ah, the good old days of innocence and not giving a chit about much more than boobs...and baseball.

Can ya dig it?

Entomological Carnivores

Twice this week, the largely ignored ant lion creature has come up in conversation. Once by the domesticated room mate and once over at McGoo's Aardvark and Asshat Saloon.

I've only actually seen an ant lion once, but I've seen millions (estimated) of their little dirty death traps. I figure they are largely ignored, because they are rarely seen. If it were me that discovered them, I would have probably labeled them something other than ant lion like The Steampunkin Bug or something.

For those who don't know, they build little traps for things like, well, ants to fall in. Once trapped, the ants are consumed over linen cloth with fine china and silverware...and a nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.

The ant lioness, on the other hand, has a more sinister trap, which in this case is disguised beneath a veil of microfiber.

The ant lioness also uses sand traps as seen above and has the ability to imbibe her prey with sweet perfumes and fermented substances. It should be noted that her mating call of death includes phraseology like, "I'm so drunk," and "do you like my new boobs."

This is a lady bug larvae, which is considered the most voracious carnivore on planet Earth. In spite of her diminutive stature, each one can consume up to 400 aphids.

This rampant killer eventually grows into one of these after several sheddings or re-hatchings.

The final stage is the full blown lady bug like this one cleverly hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans and her large bag of trickeration which includes various colors of camouflage paints and alluring scents.

The adult lady bug is capable of consuming the much larger dude bug in a single sitting. The larger dude bugs have many different appearances in order to disguise themselves from the females. They are no match for the more diminutive lady bugs, because when in the presence of the infinitely cunning lady bug, the dude bug becomes clumsy and hapless.

Like most carnivores, the lady bugs prefer their victims to be very large, so that they can feed upon his flesh for months or even years.

In this rare National Geographic photo, a lady bug leeches onto an unsuspecting dude bug to snatch the life from him as she pulls him to certain death.

Pay close attention to the other dude bugs as they watch the event with unsuspecting and curious anticipation. The allure of the lady bug is sinister at best and knows no bounds as she hunts down and devours her prey.

In another scientific report, this is a grackle.


The Story of US and Other History (Political) Lessons

I watched this on the History Channel last night. All I have to say is that I missed the first 120 seconds of the broadcast. Why?

Because the fraudulent idiot opened the show. I left the room for the toilet and spilled my dinner.

That is all.

No, it's not all. I was leaving this comment in Cmblake6's blog about Anderson Cooper Shitting Himself, when my story-telling became too long for a comment. I figured I better write here rather than hi-jack his entry.

"I remember back in 1980, my first semester in college, when my political science "professor", Dr. Katsikas (bitch, whore, slut), claimed that "Communism is the purist form of government." She went on to try and passionately prove it to us. At the end of the 100 minute lecture the mumbles amongst the student body as we were leaving were incredible - many claiming that they would be dropping the course immediately."

"Me? I went strait to take care of that very task. I saw two others in line from the same class. I don't know how many actually bugged out, because I never returned. However, as a fraternity prank several weeks later, we streaked the lobby and corridors outside her lecture room. Yes, we were streaking in 1980."

A couple semesters later, during the second semester political science course, the moron "professor" (can't remember his ponytail name, but I remember that he was from Massachusetts), opened the class by writing the Preamble to the US Constitution on the chalk boards. I watched him hammer it out, all of it.

When he finished, he circles two phrases; "...provide for the common defence," and "...promote the general welfare."

Then he said this, "Today, this is the main difference between Democrats and Republicans." Before he could draw another breath, my arm went skyward. He called on me.

"To me, provide and promote do not mean the same thing."

"What do you mean." he said looking ghost-like.

"To provide something, means it's all on you. To promote something, means to provide avenues for others to provide or to advertise."

The moments that followed were uncomfortable and quite tense. He eventually got back on track, but three weeks later, after the first exam, he stopped me outside the room as I was leaving and said, "I have never had three weeks of lesson plans destroyed like I had on the first day of class." I was fearful of my course grade at that very moment, but he continued, "I never looked at the phrasing quite like that, but you were right in what you said."

Do these people actually read the words or do they simply fit them to their ideology? (rhetorical)

I ended up with an A in the course. He and I had healthy debates for most of the semester. To his credit, he was a decent guy albeit his politics were all screwed up.

Our education system is so broken that I have serious doubts that it can ever be repaired. I am very concerned on this matter.

Kudos: Cmblake6

Make it Viral

Ignore the digital minions. They are fast at work, annoying, but harmless.


Some Serious History About Texas with a Side Order of Texas A&M

Since LC Aggie Sith seems like a friendly sort, I'll only do this once (unless it happens to be Thanksgiving, then I might do it again provided that the annual football contest happens the way it is suppose to happen).

Texas A&M is a fine university and I've always had a deep respect for its academics in engineering, architecture, military studies, agriculture and science among other areas of study like animal husbandry. In Texas, the Aggie is the brunt of all insulting jokes (we use them in lieu of the Polish people), well, until the last general election. Now, we have a more adequate target.

A&M has a conservative value (virtue?) that permeates the campus and the general mindset of the student body that is rare on college campuses around the country.

This photo was taken on the campus of Texas A&M. It depicts one of the strengths of the agriculture academic programs - feeding barnyard animals gin from a styrofoam cup. I also like that they keep the leftist jackasses behind bars where they belong. The only issue I have is that the sign says, "Beware of dog." This is partially why many jokes are directed toward the university's graduates and student body.

For me though, being in the engineering biz for a substantial portion of my existence, I have worked with hundreds of Aggies and consider them all to be above the grade intellect wise. In fact, the most accurate joke told on them is this:

Q: What do you call an Aggie four years after graduation?

A: Boss.

It's true in many cases.

Many people label the Aggies as a sort of a cult in that the bond held between it's graduates probably exceeds, in camaraderie, that of any other university. I have always been amazed at how close the Aggies seem to be after graduation.

Further illustration of the conservative attributes of Texas A&M is this proposal, which took place on campus beneath the much revered Century Tree. I don't know if she accepted the proposal, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be capable of not doing so considering her hands are stuck to her face in awe in spite of his affiliation to The Corp.

Tradition is held in high regard at Texas A&M and for that, I will always have a healthy respect for the university.

Some of the other things I know about A&M:
- They have a dog grave yard at the football field score board.
- They name all they're dogs (collies) Reveille.
- Reveille is a five star general and highest ranking officer in the Aggie Corp of Cadets.
- If Reveille barks while her attendant is in class, that class is dismissed for the day.
- The don't have cheerleaders or song girls, they have yell leaders...and they are all male.
- Each class of undergraduates has they're own hand sign and yelp.
- After football touchdowns, everybody kisses each other...on the lips.
- The student body stands up through out the entire game.
- They are very, very loud.
- They hate Texas Tech, Baylor (1926) and most of the time Texas.
- They have a most incredible yell practice prior to the A&M vs. Texas game. Did I mention that they are very, very loud?
- They say "gig'em" a lot for no apparent reason.

Ok, one side note here...on occasion, the corp boys (or corpse boys as the pinhead in office might say), have a tendency to do some rather idiotic things. Reference the sword threat versus SMU and the 1926 debacle, which caused the feud between A&M and Baylor (that event was messy at best and caused a 30 year hiatus in football contests between the two schools).

And I always knew Nebraska fans were less than bright, but you have to know that when you do a road trip to A&M, you MUST mind your manners...and for the love of Reveille stay off the football field.

LC Aggie Sith reminded me of the LSU dust up, but I couldn't find a timely photo.

Move along, move along..

Welcome to The Republic of Texas
April 21 was the anniversary of the Battle of San Jacinto, which was fought in 1836 following the signing of the Texas Declaration of Independence, which was deemed official on March 2nd of the same year. Not coincidentally, April 21st was the day that Texas won its independence from Mexico. For some nine years, Texas was a sovereign republic, which is a claim that cannot be made by any other state in the union.

I have several lines of ancestry (including the line with the surname by which I am known) that date back to times prior to the events leading to independence. Some of my ancestors undoubtedly fought in those battles, which are now considered by many to be some of the more interesting battles fought in American history.

The Battle of The Alamo:
On March 6th, 1936, several thousand Mexicans showed up in San Antonio for fiesta and siesta in anticipation of a war rout. It didn't quite go as they had planned, because 140 (estimated) Texans and Tejanos (Hispanic Texans) had other ideas and were able to fight for two weeks. This was important because it gave Sam Houston time to retreat to the east and gather his troops in what was known as the Runaway Scrape.

Alamo casualties:
Texans and Tejanos - 140 (estimated)
Mexicans - 600 (estimated)

History is unclear on the actual numbers, because while all Alamo Texas fighters were killed (allegedly some family members were spared), the lingering wounded Mexicans died in the following days and weeks due to lack of medical personnel.

Link: The Alamo (very well done website)

The Battle at San Jacinto:
It took 18 minutes for Sam Houston and his 850 fighters to defeat the post Alamo remnants (estimated to be about 1500) of the Mexican Army. Apparently Santa Anna's troops were full of fiesta tequila and siesta headache on the day of April 21, 1936. Sam Houston being worthy of legend status around these parts, decided to use this lack of respect as an opportunity for a do or die attack. A wounded Santa Anna was later captured while hiding in the thick woods wearing a private's uniform, which was somewhat significant considering he was a proud and pompous dickhead.

San Jacinto casualties:
Texans - 9 killed, 30 wounded.
Mexicans - 650 killed, 200 wounded, the rest captured.

Side note: The Texans held two main battle cries; "Remember the Alamo" and "Remember Goliad." The Goliad Massacre occurred on or about a March 27, 1836 skirmish between 60 Texans and 350 Mexicans. The Mexicans won the skirmish and subsequently took the remaining Texans prisoner. Santa Anna (dickhead) ordered all prisoners to be executed.

The Yellow Rose of Texas:
The brilliance of Sam Houston offers one side note of genius on the eve prior to the battle. One of the legends claims that Houston sent an attractive mulatto slave, Emily Morgan (or Emily West as the legend is unclear), into the camp of El Presidente Santa Anna to distract him from the war plans. Santa Anna was well known to have surrounded himself with attractive ladies.

Link: Timeline of the Texas-Mexican War

Being a natural born Texan, I find this stuff fascinating. The rich Texas history has many legends of heraldry including some excellent stories of the famed Texas Rangers - them are some bad-ass dudes make no mistake. I've known one or two of the modern day version and I can tell you this - you really do not want to be on the wrong end of their ire. History shows that they don't always play by the rules. No doubt this is a topic for future posts.

I'll most likely sprinkle more of my favorite historical notes in this blog as time passes. For now, though, there are chores to be completed or the domesticated room mate will introduce me to her specific brand if ire.

Cheers and be safe.


My Solar Magnetic Conveyor Dance Works! Not to Mention That Okla Homa is Two Words!

As I mentioned in this post from last week, I was gong to perform a solar magnetic conveyor dance to help speed up the solar magnetic conveyor so that we could see more images like this one.

There is a new tool out there in space and I'm not talking about Al Gore this time. The new tool is some newly birthed and fresh baked outer space flying machine contracted by the governments called the Solar Dynamic Observatory (SDO).

The SDO was launched in February of this very year (2010) and has finally reached it's cruising altitude of 22,000 miles above terra firma.

According to SOHO, the SDO is capable of:

"...super-HD, full disk frames (4096 x 4096 pixels) and with a frame rate of an image every 10 seconds in each of 10 wavelengths, SDO will capture details of motion that scientists could only dream about just five years ago."

Here is some of the SDOs fine work as released today. The image was taken on April 21, 2010. Check this out for the video and other SDO information.

That's a big "O", as in Oh, WOW!!! Which incidentally has absolutely nothing to do with the idiot in the White House...nor does it have anything to do with Okla Homa.

Which reminds me...

Being born in Texas, there isn't much about Okla Homa that I particularly like. Ok, that's exaggerated, but if my family were to hear me admit to that, I will be without a family. However, I can think of two things about Okla Homa of which I am quite fond.

Ok, make that four things...

Here is Okla Homa during the the 1889 Land Rush. Looks like fun if you're into cheating, killing and squatting, because there was a lot of that going on at the same time. I heard on the radio that this week was some sort of anniversary for this madness.

This is not Okla Homa, but rather, it's Kyle Field located in tranquil College Station, TX. It is the football home of the Texas A&M Fighting Aggies (this is what many of us call the "other" great Texas university). While I am certain this photograph that I subversively bagged from a local Trading Post somewhere in Texas was not produced this Spring, it does illustrate against what we are up weather wise at this time of the year. I have actually been to a football contest at this field and consider it one of my most treasured experiences in spite of my loyalties to THE University of Texas.

[Edited because, while in my Saturday-lulled mind, I didn''t originally see how the Okla Homa Land Rush of 1889 had anything to do with the intended topics of this post. LC Aggie Sith over at Hookers and Booze called me out and adequately corrected me. Props to her...and close insert.]

I'm off topic again. Sorry. [Broken statement in question]

The point of this post is to report that there is unbelievable evidence that our pal Sol is finally getting with the program and the end of the world as we know it is again scheduled for eminent.

I figure that even the dirty lyin' AGW people will try to discredit my theories on GW being a solar problem and not a Human problem. I say this because that fiery crack in the Earth called Mount Eywhateverthefuckitscalledkull (this link is fucking ridiculous, too, by the way), which is located on the Land of Ice and is polluting the atmosphere at such a fantastic pace that it will undoubtedly leave us with a cooler summer. I think our old buddy Sol might just offset that dirty Earthly spat out darkness with some counter balance.

Of course, all this will be ignored by the lying left as they whine about how the speeding up of the magnetic conveyor is insignificant and that AGW is real cause for all the volcanoes and earthquakes that seem to be causing all sorts of chaos lately. Naturally, they will ignore the patterns that we already know about and the latest evolving theories on this sort of seismic activity being somewhat cyclical to boot.

NEWS FLASH: As I type this, I hear on my transistor radio that another volcano has erupted in the land formerly known as Iceland. More on this later, because I am now quite interested.

I find it retarded that the greenies are now beginning to glorify this blowd up glacier mountain for helping to curb CO2 levels in the atmosphere citing the reduction in air travel as the cause for such scientific non-sense.

Well, let them yammer on, because I am onto them before they get started. Bring it, bitches.

Triple hell-yeah and a double mono-digital salute, assholes.

Oh, one more thing...
What the hell was I hearing about earlier this week about some Islamic cleric saying that all the earthquakes and volcanoes were because some dude named Allah was pissed off? The cleric said something about some chick or what ever showing her legs publicly, which has angered Allah, who is punishing the entire planet, because nakedness is not right? Now, this is fucking retarded, because everyone knows that when females show too much skin, that has more to do with GW than anything else and nothing to do with seismic activity or plate tectonics.

In fact, that is my new theory - Naked chicks cause global warming.

I'll have to add this to my research list.


BREAKING NEWS: Shoe Sale Down At the ZombieMart

I think I'll swing by and score me a pair of these footies on the way home. I'm pretty sure there isn't anything (yet) in the Employee Manual of Employer Rules and Codes of Conduct under Article 3 : Dress Code that specifically prevents the use of these in the work place. To be safe, though, I'll toe the water on Casual Friday.

I'm caught up in the TV show Flash Forward. I decided that since the writers of that other TV show called 24 have been taking script advice from the mentally impaired, I need a new weekly program to waste more of my time. FF had some pretty nifty scenarios in the beginning, but even it's become more of a daytime drama than a cool scientifically based mindfuck. Speaking of 24, it's ending this year after the eighth season...or is it the eighth day? Like i said, I know why, too. The scripts suck ass. Actually, now that I think of it, after the first three days (seasons), it has been pretty much down hill.

Edit: You might be asking why I have kept up with 24 all these years. I can answer that. Basically, the character of Jack Bauer is about the only real man type character (absent of lefty type softness seen in about every other TV show) left on the weekly TV guide. That, and there is always a nice array of guns and explosions.

After Flash Forward, then its over to the Speed Channel for another lame episode of Bullrun. I was sort of digging that show last season, but aside from the fantastic cars, there isn't much there in the way of entertainment. I don't know, since I've stay tuned for the season so far, I might as well watch the last few episodes. Something might get wrecked...and things explode, which is always sort of cool.

Edit: I ended up doing what I do most often - watched the Science Channel until midnight.

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Kari is back from maternity leave. I happened across a new Myth Busters the other day. They made cannons out of leather. I like these cannons better than the ones they made out of duct tape even when the breech gave it up and back-ploded, but nothing was more fun than watching the water heaters under 35 psi (I think) blow themselves 250 feet skyward.

Oh, and happy Earth Day. I would call my green friends and tell them that , but I don't have any green friends any more. I shot them all dead back in 2004 because they lost their minds due to the Gorean-Dementia disease. It was sad watching them suffer like that. I now consider myself a humanitarian.

Speaking of saving the planet, I have a question (shamelessly stolen from the great Mark Davis [edit: it was George Carlin played on Mark Davis' show]):
Earth has been on it's own for 4.6 billion years and it did quite well without our help. I mean, in spite of being magmatically boiled, pounded by asteroids and space rocks, quaked, flooded and
volcanoed to hell and back, why do we need to save it from plastic baggies and water bottles?

Answer: This landscape photograph of Mother Earth shows that without a doubt that she is alive and doing pretty darn well.

Ok, couch potato time.


Clever Use of Breathilizers

Another post from my email in box.

Rita Hayworth was not in my in box, but I pulled out my HP Scientific RPN II and figured these parabolas deserve graphing. It's all in the mathematics.

Extreme White Space (Between My Nose and My Invisible Pony Tail)

White space is something I learned in one of my technical writing courses way the hell back in college. One of the few important things that I remember from my work at university is the importance of white space. Here's some white space with some grey blobby things mixed in for the sanctity of Oz.

However, it seems the digital minions lurking in this software bound hardware believe that white space should be utilized to the extreme. I actually caught one of the little buggers trying to steal away...probably to raid my fridge.

Barbara Bush? I know. I can't believe it either.

One thing about that ridiculous looking Smart Car. The owner's aren't.

They start out looking like this...

Then, when the wind picks up a little, this happens...

Actually, I am sort of surprised, because I always figured those little toy cars would bounce down the road like tennis balls.

Which reminds me - I remember when my adolescent nieces were into Hello Kitty gear.

Of course, when the deviant uncle shows up for the family outings, he brings subversive tactics like introducing the nieces to things more worth while, like street racing.

I should also state that my only nephew has a little different mindset and I can't say as I blame him. He says in his little boy voice...

Once again, absolutely zero thought went into this post, which I think qualifies me for the US House of Representatives.


Fish Chat

Got this in email. Couldn't not post it.


Ministries Are Little More than Departments of Menial Tasks

Every where you look, there is a ministry of some ilk.

This is a subject on which I have given much thought and consideration. I'm dead serious about this, too. Everyone knows that there are religious ministries, but did you know that there are all sorts of ministries in government? There are religious ministries AND government ministries.

I guess the conception of such thought-provoking wonderment occurred when I was in the coffee biz and learned that the country of Costa Rica way down there in Central American has, and get this, a Coffee Ministry. It's true. No really...Costa Rica has a prime coffee industry and they also have a ministry to regulate this industry.

What I found peculiar about this particular Coffee Ministry is that they have standards in their coffee. I believe that, because they make the some of the best coffee beans on Planet Earth. While I don't know the process by which they rank the beans, I do know that coffee beans deemed by the Ministry not worthy for export are required to be dyed blue and stored for domestic use only. That's right, Costa Rica Blue (sort of like Colombia Blue, but different). My deductive prowess concluded with the notion that all cups of coffee served within the borders of Costa Rica would therefore be blue. I know. Strange, right?

Ok, so, some years later, I was looking at a BBC newscast while trapped in an airport layover. The pretty lady on the screen was prattling on about the British Parliament and various British ministries like the Ministry of Silly Walks.

The Brits also have ministries for other forms of regulation like Labour, Transport, Business/Enterprise/Regulatory Reform, Energy/Climate Change, Children/Young People/Families, Culture/Media/Sport, Innovation/Universities/Skills (formerly Innovation/Science?) and more. The thing about British ministries is that they (ministers and secretaries, I guess, or lords or whips?) rearrange the names and functions of the ministries about every six to eight months. Every six months? It's a wonder they get anything else done.

[Interjection: How the hell do the British determine which division of departments go with which other division of departments? I think there is probably much debate over this, because of the astonishing number of times that they become rearranged under the official "reshuffle" measure. Energy and Climate Change? Culture and Media and Sport?]

In the US, we don't have ministries in government. It's not allowed, because of a Constitutional law that says something about separation of church and state, even though it never says anything about separation of church and state. So instead, they named them Cabinets to throw everybody off.

Cabinets are little more than departments for the administration of menial tasks. How do I know this? Because like every ministry, cabinets have secretaries in charge of everything deemed not important enough to bother involving the President. I guess everything except those which are carried out by czars. They have menial tasks responsibilities, too. Of course, then it makes perfect sense that if there is a Secretary of the Interiors and a Secretary of Environmental Protection and Secretary of Education and also that they are considered Directors of Menial Tasks, then a czar like the Properly Inflated Tire Czar and and czar like the Association for Community Organization Reform Now Czar (other duties include the President of the United States) are comparable to Assistants to the Director of Menial Tasks. Mere minions, right?

I guess there is a need for all the ministries. After all, somebody has to be around to tell other people to "dye those coffee beans blue", "34.5 psi" and "go to the cemetery and write down some names."

My point to all this fiddling about is that our US cabinet members are secretaries who have been given full charge of all things menial. I mean, would you put any of these people in full command of anything above the office of Director of Sheep Tending or the Office of the Secretary for the Prevention of Fly Tipping?

President Obama's Cabinet 2009 (source: White House dot gov)

In case you didn't notice that I mentioned Fly Tipping, well, I did mention it. In my searches for what ever looks interesting, I found this story (and I'm not making this up): Lib Dems Want Tougher Laws To Tackle Fly Tipping. Now, I grew up in Texas and I know all about the evils of Cow Tipping, even though my crack sources tell me that cow tipping is apparently a bigger problem in Tennessee.

I had no idea about Fly Tipping. I guess this is a huge problem in the UK, because the fuss has caused many UK Democrats like Group Leader Cllr John Macklin to say thing like:

“I’ll be speaking to the Labour members who are responsible for fly tipping and enforcement ...to see how all of these portfolio areas can better tackle the problem."

He went on to say and rightfully so...

“Our street cleaning is provided on a much smaller budget than some neighbouring London boroughs so we can’t afford to waste money collecting fly tipping. The Council’s current rates for catching flytippers are not nearly enough..."

They even made some schnazzy signs.

The Waltham Forest Liberal Democrats have more on the problem with Fly Tipping.

We cannot be out done by the Brits in this pandemic criminal activity. Something needs to be done. I hereby nominate Little Eric Holder to the Office for the Prevention of Cow Tipping and with it come the full obligatory powers including duties for associated criminal activities like Goat Fainting.

And, because it is raining, I nominate her as Secretary of What Ever She Wants...

Sorry, I strayed a little off topic. I guess what I am really trying to say with this post is that it's Sunday morning, it's raining and, of course, I'm out of coffee.