Showing posts with label Photological Snarktardery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Photological Snarktardery. Show all posts
20100519
20100518
BofA and Others Offering Reduced Criteria for Illegals? AND, Oklahoma Is More Than OK, AND, I'm Hot for Governor Brewer (and I don't care what she looks like.)
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Bank of America is Racists.Verified by Snopes...
An individual closes his bank account over Bank of America's lending practices to illegal aliens. This is a verified occurrence according to Snopes.
Bank of America, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I want to cancel my account. I don't want to do business with you any longer.
The Bank: Why?
Customer: You're giving credit to illegal immigrants and I don't think it's right. I'm taking my business elsewhere.
The Bank: Well, Mr. Customer, we don't want to see you do that, but we can't stop you. I'll help you close the account. What is your account number?
Customer: (gives account number)
The Bank: For security purposes and for your protection, can you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?
Customer: No?
The Bank: Mr. Customer, I need to verify your information, but in order to help you, I'll need verification of who you are.
Customer: Why should I give you my social security number? The reason I'm closing my account is that your bank is issuing credit cards to illegal immigrants who don't have social security numbers. You are targeting that audience and want their business. Let's say I'm an illegal immigrant and you've given me a credit card. I have a question about it and call for assistance. You wouldn't be asking me for a Social Security number, would you?
The Bank: No sir, I wouldn't.
Customer: Why not?
The Bank: Because you would have pressed '2' to speak in Spanish. We don't ask for that information when calling in on the Spanish line.
Keep in mind several banks are using this same practice - Wells Fargo, Citi, etc.
OOOOH-Klahoma Rocks:
Over at Pajamas, there is this:
In 2007, Oklahoma passed an illegal immigrations bill. They did, really. And get this...nobody said a word about it.
"House Bill 1804 was passed by overwhelming majorities in both the House and Senate of the Oklahoma legislature. The measure’s sponsor, State Representative Randy Terrill, says the bill has four main topical areas: it deals with identity theft; it terminates public assistance benefits to illegals; it empowers state and local police to enforce federal immigration laws; and it punishes employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens.
Oklahoma is no longer “O.K.” for illegal aliens, Terrill observes. “When you put everything together in context,” he contends, “the bottom line is illegal aliens will not come here if there are no jobs waiting for them, they will not stay here if there is no government subsidy, and they certainly won’t stay here if they know that if they ever encounter our state and local law enforcement officers, they will be physically detained until they’re deported. And that’s exactly what House Bill 1804 does.”Care to guess what happened? Well, you can check out the Greenspan graphical version map style showing the progression of unemployment over the difficult time span of the last couple of years, or you can read this:
"Since 1804 passed, Oklahoma has not suffered nearly as much economically as most of the rest of the U.S. In fact, the state can fairly be described, especially on a relative basis, as prosperous."I don't think I need to go on about this much further, because anyone who might happen by, already knows what would happen if such plans were implemented nationwide. It's no secret, right?...Unless you are one of those who sleep late then get out of bed to little more than to plant your head in the sand.
Either way, go read it. Its worth it if for no other reason than to shove it down the throats of your nearest mind-fucked liberal.
More OOOOh-Klahoma Rocks:
Miss USA is crowned. Yep, there is no end to the prejudice, just ask Miss Oklahoma, Morgan Elizabeth Wollard, the competition's runner up. Actually, Ms. Woollard shot off her foot when she claimed to support states rights and publicly leaned toward support for Arizona in the illegal alien dust up by stating that states should have the right to pass such laws.
Baaad, girl! How dare you state such radical ideology in a public forum.
Meanwhile, Miss Michigan - Rami Fakih, the winner got a softball abortion question:
"Fakih was asked whether she thought birth control should be paid for by health insurance, and she said she believed it should because it's costly."Well, isn't that profound. If that's not enough, as soon as the competition concluded, the cheesecake photos emerged as they usually do. Miss Fakih (By the way, is that pronounced "Fuckee?" - just curious.)
Oh, I would be remiss if I ignore the state of the Governor's office in Arizona. Governor Brewer, you rock, lady! Comic in Chief? Priceless.
20100514
Obiden Captionitis
"People. This is a big f'ing deal. If we pass Stimulus, then unemployment will only reach 8%"
Or...
"...as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."
Or...
"...as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."
20100509
And No, It's Not Because I am...
...it's because Charlize Theron is golden.
Did you know that if you click this image, your monitor will melt into a blob worthy of stick-science?
20100508
Speaking of Offensive Language...Calf Fries ARE OFFENSIVE
I've kind of always been offended by the term "redneck".
Being a Southerner, I've been addressed as such various times in my life. I think most notable was during a trip to New York. I was there on sort of a factory tour trip where a manufacturer of a certain engineering specification product will fly engineers form all over the country and show off their factory. Usually, these free trips include some sort of fun outing, which may include fine dining, a Broadway play, a sporting event, or some other kind of way to buy you off for specifying their products.
During the NY trip, The Saturday included a day at West Point for the Army home coming game. While I have to admit, this was probably my favorite of such trips, there were a few tense moments based on the simple reason that I am from Texas.
This event started with a meet and greet ice breaker that takes place in a large tent sponsored by our hosts. One of the hostesses representing the company that paid for our trip approached me. The lady knew three things about me; my name, my birth state and that I carry a "slight" Texas drawl when I speak (I blame my parents for this, unless I am out in the country with my cousins, then it become a source of pride - I know and never mind).
"Are you a Redneck?" she asked in a very, very heavy Bronx dialect. Keep in mind that I was wearing a white starched shirt, black slacks, a tweed sport jacket and a rather fashionable (at the time) Jerry Garcia tie...oh, and my "Sunday-go-to-meetin'" black shoes. I looked like any other business type doing business.
I paused for an uncomfortable moment and simply said, "No, ma'am, but I know a few," hoping that she would move on to a business related subject. But she didn't.
"Who's that comedian that says, "You are a redneck if...?"
"Jeff Foxworthy?"
"Yeah. That guy." She went on in an attempt at a few of his redneck jokes - and rather badly, too. I just stood there, looking around for an escape. I kept nodding and smiling in spite of the tense moment. She had no idea that the term "redneck" is offensive to some.
She paused to think of another slur and I pounced on the chance to interrupt and change the direction of the conversation, "So, have you been to many Army football games?"
"Like, do I come here often? she asked with a big smile and her eyebrows sort of inquisitively pinched.
"Perhaps, I guess." I answered not knowing where she might go next.
"Surely, being from Texas, you've been to a football game before," which came out of her mouth like "beef-owah" - I swear.
"Hundreds, I'd say." I said still plotting my escape.
Being sort of a bird watcher, I noticed a large raptor flying in over the Hudson River toward us and I gazed upward as it made its way almost straight above us and the grassy banks. She noticed my reaction as watched upward. "That's a hooh-awk."
"I was wondering." I said still watching the bird.
Perhaps it was the hooh-wot doo-ogs or the keg beer, but she put her had on my arm and asked me where we were staying for the night. I told her that I thought we were staying in the city at Times Square.
"Too bad," she said.
"Why is that?"
"You seem like a nice guy and not at all what I expected."
"What do you mean?" I was beginning to feel even less comfortable with the situation and was really curious about what she expected by meeting a real live Texan.
"You don't seem very country to me."
"Perhaps that's because I've spent my entire life living in a metropolitan area of about 8 million people?" The look on her face was priceless. She dropped her hand form my arm and put in on her hip. I wasn't sure of that body language, but at this point, I couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say next.
"Manhattan has 8 million people."
"I'm aware of that."
"The only difference with the DFW area is that it is spread out over a large area and not stacked up on top of itself."
She smiled, "You are a very 'int-er-esting gooh-eye. Are you shooh-wah you want to go all the way to Manhattan for the night?"
Ok, so this whole conversation was a flirt on her part. I'm guessing that not only was she looking for over night company, but that she probably does this regularly with the factory visitors. There is no way she would ever think that the conversation was insulting to me. The worst part was that our group (from all over the US) would be together for the football game, the after party on Times Square and all the bus time in between. She found a way to be next to me the entire trip in spite of my polite attempts to hang out with the California group.
I really don't know where I am going with all of this except that I have always found offensive, the term redneck not to mention various other locale related stereotypical terms regardless of the locale.
Plus, it gives me a chance to post this picture of a redneck wading pool.
A redneck giving directions..."Naw, man. It's where old man Duece's place use-tah-be before the farr."
No words.
Condos? Apartments? Fire hazard? ...No worries about the fire hazard. I'm sure they all have the redneck fire alarm system installed, which includes an unopened package of Jiffy-Pop popcorn attached to the ceiling in the kitchen...and over the still.
My cousins live out in the country and have spent their lives driving tractors, running cattle ranches and spending the weekends hungover from nights at the local metal building dance halls. I have to say though, that I have found my weekend visits to the farm educational. After all, I have personally participated in some very interesting activities like branding calves, de-horning calves, medicating cattle and horses, riding fences on horseback, feeding livestock of all varieties (goats, chickens, ginny fowl, nieces and nephews, etc.) and collecting dew berries, because you can't make dew berry pie without dew berries.
I just wish I had passed on the time I spent drinking my cousins Lone Star beer, Pearl Light beer (with salt on the top of the can for good reason), Wabble Water Wine (made form native Texas Mustang Grapes (very sour)...not to mention the time he made me breakfast and didn't tell me what it was until after I ate it.
Somehow, eggs scrambled with cubed chunks of fried ..um...fries would have left me passing on the morning meal and in fact caused me to pass on the noontime meal just because...and after the debate over why I would go without lunch, he felt the need to go to the freezer and show me a bowl of fresh cut fries with the statement, "I usually just throw them to the dogs, but since this is a special occasion and all..."
I think I'm gonna be sick again.
Being a Southerner, I've been addressed as such various times in my life. I think most notable was during a trip to New York. I was there on sort of a factory tour trip where a manufacturer of a certain engineering specification product will fly engineers form all over the country and show off their factory. Usually, these free trips include some sort of fun outing, which may include fine dining, a Broadway play, a sporting event, or some other kind of way to buy you off for specifying their products.
During the NY trip, The Saturday included a day at West Point for the Army home coming game. While I have to admit, this was probably my favorite of such trips, there were a few tense moments based on the simple reason that I am from Texas.
This event started with a meet and greet ice breaker that takes place in a large tent sponsored by our hosts. One of the hostesses representing the company that paid for our trip approached me. The lady knew three things about me; my name, my birth state and that I carry a "slight" Texas drawl when I speak (I blame my parents for this, unless I am out in the country with my cousins, then it become a source of pride - I know and never mind).
"Are you a Redneck?" she asked in a very, very heavy Bronx dialect. Keep in mind that I was wearing a white starched shirt, black slacks, a tweed sport jacket and a rather fashionable (at the time) Jerry Garcia tie...oh, and my "Sunday-go-to-meetin'" black shoes. I looked like any other business type doing business.
I paused for an uncomfortable moment and simply said, "No, ma'am, but I know a few," hoping that she would move on to a business related subject. But she didn't.
"Who's that comedian that says, "You are a redneck if...?"
"Jeff Foxworthy?"
"Yeah. That guy." She went on in an attempt at a few of his redneck jokes - and rather badly, too. I just stood there, looking around for an escape. I kept nodding and smiling in spite of the tense moment. She had no idea that the term "redneck" is offensive to some.
She paused to think of another slur and I pounced on the chance to interrupt and change the direction of the conversation, "So, have you been to many Army football games?"
"Like, do I come here often? she asked with a big smile and her eyebrows sort of inquisitively pinched.
"Perhaps, I guess." I answered not knowing where she might go next.
"Surely, being from Texas, you've been to a football game before," which came out of her mouth like "beef-owah" - I swear.
"Hundreds, I'd say." I said still plotting my escape.
Being sort of a bird watcher, I noticed a large raptor flying in over the Hudson River toward us and I gazed upward as it made its way almost straight above us and the grassy banks. She noticed my reaction as watched upward. "That's a hooh-awk."
"I was wondering." I said still watching the bird.
Perhaps it was the hooh-wot doo-ogs or the keg beer, but she put her had on my arm and asked me where we were staying for the night. I told her that I thought we were staying in the city at Times Square.
"Too bad," she said.
"Why is that?"
"You seem like a nice guy and not at all what I expected."
"What do you mean?" I was beginning to feel even less comfortable with the situation and was really curious about what she expected by meeting a real live Texan.
"You don't seem very country to me."
"Perhaps that's because I've spent my entire life living in a metropolitan area of about 8 million people?" The look on her face was priceless. She dropped her hand form my arm and put in on her hip. I wasn't sure of that body language, but at this point, I couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say next.
"Manhattan has 8 million people."
"I'm aware of that."
"The only difference with the DFW area is that it is spread out over a large area and not stacked up on top of itself."
She smiled, "You are a very 'int-er-esting gooh-eye. Are you shooh-wah you want to go all the way to Manhattan for the night?"
Ok, so this whole conversation was a flirt on her part. I'm guessing that not only was she looking for over night company, but that she probably does this regularly with the factory visitors. There is no way she would ever think that the conversation was insulting to me. The worst part was that our group (from all over the US) would be together for the football game, the after party on Times Square and all the bus time in between. She found a way to be next to me the entire trip in spite of my polite attempts to hang out with the California group.
I really don't know where I am going with all of this except that I have always found offensive, the term redneck not to mention various other locale related stereotypical terms regardless of the locale.
Plus, it gives me a chance to post this picture of a redneck wading pool.
A redneck giving directions..."Naw, man. It's where old man Duece's place use-tah-be before the farr."
No words.
Condos? Apartments? Fire hazard? ...No worries about the fire hazard. I'm sure they all have the redneck fire alarm system installed, which includes an unopened package of Jiffy-Pop popcorn attached to the ceiling in the kitchen...and over the still.
My cousins live out in the country and have spent their lives driving tractors, running cattle ranches and spending the weekends hungover from nights at the local metal building dance halls. I have to say though, that I have found my weekend visits to the farm educational. After all, I have personally participated in some very interesting activities like branding calves, de-horning calves, medicating cattle and horses, riding fences on horseback, feeding livestock of all varieties (goats, chickens, ginny fowl, nieces and nephews, etc.) and collecting dew berries, because you can't make dew berry pie without dew berries.
I just wish I had passed on the time I spent drinking my cousins Lone Star beer, Pearl Light beer (with salt on the top of the can for good reason), Wabble Water Wine (made form native Texas Mustang Grapes (very sour)...not to mention the time he made me breakfast and didn't tell me what it was until after I ate it.
Somehow, eggs scrambled with cubed chunks of fried ..um...fries would have left me passing on the morning meal and in fact caused me to pass on the noontime meal just because...and after the debate over why I would go without lunch, he felt the need to go to the freezer and show me a bowl of fresh cut fries with the statement, "I usually just throw them to the dogs, but since this is a special occasion and all..."
I think I'm gonna be sick again.
20100506
New Cloaking Device for Air Force One
Ok, so I am a blog posting stiff this week resorting to rehashing email junk jokes and TV show reviews. This post is no exception and I am sure that, once again, I am behind the curve.
Enter Air Force general with notification to the President that the USAF has outfitted Air Force One with a new cloaking device.
I guess the image is courtesy of the FreakingNews.
And the offering from Hookers and Booze? Lego Star Wars - take a look-see.
Enter Air Force general with notification to the President that the USAF has outfitted Air Force One with a new cloaking device.
Air Force General: "Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One."
Obama: "No shit?"
General: "That's right, sir. Will you be going along on its maiden flight?"
Obama: "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
General: "Have a good trip, sir..."
I guess the image is courtesy of the FreakingNews.
And the offering from Hookers and Booze? Lego Star Wars - take a look-see.
20100428
Spider Talk
This is a Spider. (Sun Spider)
This is a spider on drugs.
This is a spider on me. (re-enactment**)
This is me on a spider.
Any questions?
** - Re-enacted because spiders do this.
This is a spider on drugs.
This is a spider on me. (re-enactment**)
This is me on a spider.
Any questions?
** - Re-enacted because spiders do this.
20100427
Entomological Carnivores
Twice this week, the largely ignored ant lion creature has come up in conversation. Once by the domesticated room mate and once over at McGoo's Aardvark and Asshat Saloon.
I've only actually seen an ant lion once, but I've seen millions (estimated) of their little dirty death traps. I figure they are largely ignored, because they are rarely seen. If it were me that discovered them, I would have probably labeled them something other than ant lion like The Steampunkin Bug or something.
For those who don't know, they build little traps for things like, well, ants to fall in. Once trapped, the ants are consumed over linen cloth with fine china and silverware...and a nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.
The ant lioness, on the other hand, has a more sinister trap, which in this case is disguised beneath a veil of microfiber.
The ant lioness also uses sand traps as seen above and has the ability to imbibe her prey with sweet perfumes and fermented substances. It should be noted that her mating call of death includes phraseology like, "I'm so drunk," and "do you like my new boobs."
This is a lady bug larvae, which is considered the most voracious carnivore on planet Earth. In spite of her diminutive stature, each one can consume up to 400 aphids.
This rampant killer eventually grows into one of these after several sheddings or re-hatchings.
The final stage is the full blown lady bug like this one cleverly hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans and her large bag of trickeration which includes various colors of camouflage paints and alluring scents.
The adult lady bug is capable of consuming the much larger dude bug in a single sitting. The larger dude bugs have many different appearances in order to disguise themselves from the females. They are no match for the more diminutive lady bugs, because when in the presence of the infinitely cunning lady bug, the dude bug becomes clumsy and hapless.
Like most carnivores, the lady bugs prefer their victims to be very large, so that they can feed upon his flesh for months or even years.
In this rare National Geographic photo, a lady bug leeches onto an unsuspecting dude bug to snatch the life from him as she pulls him to certain death.
Pay close attention to the other dude bugs as they watch the event with unsuspecting and curious anticipation. The allure of the lady bug is sinister at best and knows no bounds as she hunts down and devours her prey.
In another scientific report, this is a grackle.
I've only actually seen an ant lion once, but I've seen millions (estimated) of their little dirty death traps. I figure they are largely ignored, because they are rarely seen. If it were me that discovered them, I would have probably labeled them something other than ant lion like The Steampunkin Bug or something.
For those who don't know, they build little traps for things like, well, ants to fall in. Once trapped, the ants are consumed over linen cloth with fine china and silverware...and a nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.
The ant lioness, on the other hand, has a more sinister trap, which in this case is disguised beneath a veil of microfiber.
The ant lioness also uses sand traps as seen above and has the ability to imbibe her prey with sweet perfumes and fermented substances. It should be noted that her mating call of death includes phraseology like, "I'm so drunk," and "do you like my new boobs."
This is a lady bug larvae, which is considered the most voracious carnivore on planet Earth. In spite of her diminutive stature, each one can consume up to 400 aphids.
This rampant killer eventually grows into one of these after several sheddings or re-hatchings.
The final stage is the full blown lady bug like this one cleverly hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans and her large bag of trickeration which includes various colors of camouflage paints and alluring scents.
The adult lady bug is capable of consuming the much larger dude bug in a single sitting. The larger dude bugs have many different appearances in order to disguise themselves from the females. They are no match for the more diminutive lady bugs, because when in the presence of the infinitely cunning lady bug, the dude bug becomes clumsy and hapless.
Like most carnivores, the lady bugs prefer their victims to be very large, so that they can feed upon his flesh for months or even years.
In this rare National Geographic photo, a lady bug leeches onto an unsuspecting dude bug to snatch the life from him as she pulls him to certain death.
Pay close attention to the other dude bugs as they watch the event with unsuspecting and curious anticipation. The allure of the lady bug is sinister at best and knows no bounds as she hunts down and devours her prey.
In another scientific report, this is a grackle.
20100426
20100425
Some Serious History About Texas with a Side Order of Texas A&M
Since LC Aggie Sith seems like a friendly sort, I'll only do this once (unless it happens to be Thanksgiving, then I might do it again provided that the annual football contest happens the way it is suppose to happen).
Texas A&M is a fine university and I've always had a deep respect for its academics in engineering, architecture, military studies, agriculture and science among other areas of study like animal husbandry. In Texas, the Aggie is the brunt of all insulting jokes (we use them in lieu of the Polish people), well, until the last general election. Now, we have a more adequate target.
A&M has a conservative value (virtue?) that permeates the campus and the general mindset of the student body that is rare on college campuses around the country.
This photo was taken on the campus of Texas A&M. It depicts one of the strengths of the agriculture academic programs - feeding barnyard animals gin from a styrofoam cup. I also like that they keep the leftist jackasses behind bars where they belong. The only issue I have is that the sign says, "Beware of dog." This is partially why many jokes are directed toward the university's graduates and student body.
For me though, being in the engineering biz for a substantial portion of my existence, I have worked with hundreds of Aggies and consider them all to be above the grade intellect wise. In fact, the most accurate joke told on them is this:
Q: What do you call an Aggie four years after graduation?
A: Boss.
It's true in many cases.
Many people label the Aggies as a sort of a cult in that the bond held between it's graduates probably exceeds, in camaraderie, that of any other university. I have always been amazed at how close the Aggies seem to be after graduation.
Further illustration of the conservative attributes of Texas A&M is this proposal, which took place on campus beneath the much revered Century Tree. I don't know if she accepted the proposal, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be capable of not doing so considering her hands are stuck to her face in awe in spite of his affiliation to The Corp.
Tradition is held in high regard at Texas A&M and for that, I will always have a healthy respect for the university.
Some of the other things I know about A&M:
- They have a dog grave yard at the football field score board.
- They name all they're dogs (collies) Reveille.
- Reveille is a five star general and highest ranking officer in the Aggie Corp of Cadets.
- If Reveille barks while her attendant is in class, that class is dismissed for the day.
- The don't have cheerleaders or song girls, they have yell leaders...and they are all male.
- Each class of undergraduates has they're own hand sign and yelp.
- After football touchdowns, everybody kisses each other...on the lips.
- The student body stands up through out the entire game.
- They are very, very loud.
- They hate Texas Tech, Baylor (1926) and most of the time Texas.
- They have a most incredible yell practice prior to the A&M vs. Texas game. Did I mention that they are very, very loud?
- They say "gig'em" a lot for no apparent reason.
Ok, one side note here...on occasion, the corp boys (or corpse boys as the pinhead in office might say), have a tendency to do some rather idiotic things. Reference the sword threat versus SMU and the 1926 debacle, which caused the feud between A&M and Baylor (that event was messy at best and caused a 30 year hiatus in football contests between the two schools).
And I always knew Nebraska fans were less than bright, but you have to know that when you do a road trip to A&M, you MUST mind your manners...and for the love of Reveille stay off the football field.
LC Aggie Sith reminded me of the LSU dust up, but I couldn't find a timely photo.
Move along, move along..
Welcome to The Republic of Texas
April 21 was the anniversary of the Battle of San Jacinto, which was fought in 1836 following the signing of the Texas Declaration of Independence, which was deemed official on March 2nd of the same year. Not coincidentally, April 21st was the day that Texas won its independence from Mexico. For some nine years, Texas was a sovereign republic, which is a claim that cannot be made by any other state in the union.
I have several lines of ancestry (including the line with the surname by which I am known) that date back to times prior to the events leading to independence. Some of my ancestors undoubtedly fought in those battles, which are now considered by many to be some of the more interesting battles fought in American history.
The Battle of The Alamo:
On March 6th, 1936, several thousand Mexicans showed up in San Antonio for fiesta and siesta in anticipation of a war rout. It didn't quite go as they had planned, because 140 (estimated) Texans and Tejanos (Hispanic Texans) had other ideas and were able to fight for two weeks. This was important because it gave Sam Houston time to retreat to the east and gather his troops in what was known as the Runaway Scrape.
Alamo casualties:
Texans and Tejanos - 140 (estimated)
Mexicans - 600 (estimated)
History is unclear on the actual numbers, because while all Alamo Texas fighters were killed (allegedly some family members were spared), the lingering wounded Mexicans died in the following days and weeks due to lack of medical personnel.
Link: The Alamo (very well done website)
The Battle at San Jacinto:
It took 18 minutes for Sam Houston and his 850 fighters to defeat the post Alamo remnants (estimated to be about 1500) of the Mexican Army. Apparently Santa Anna's troops were full of fiesta tequila and siesta headache on the day of April 21, 1936. Sam Houston being worthy of legend status around these parts, decided to use this lack of respect as an opportunity for a do or die attack. A wounded Santa Anna was later captured while hiding in the thick woods wearing a private's uniform, which was somewhat significant considering he was a proud and pompous dickhead.
San Jacinto casualties:
Texans - 9 killed, 30 wounded.
Mexicans - 650 killed, 200 wounded, the rest captured.
Side note: The Texans held two main battle cries; "Remember the Alamo" and "Remember Goliad." The Goliad Massacre occurred on or about a March 27, 1836 skirmish between 60 Texans and 350 Mexicans. The Mexicans won the skirmish and subsequently took the remaining Texans prisoner. Santa Anna (dickhead) ordered all prisoners to be executed.
The Yellow Rose of Texas:
The brilliance of Sam Houston offers one side note of genius on the eve prior to the battle. One of the legends claims that Houston sent an attractive mulatto slave, Emily Morgan (or Emily West as the legend is unclear), into the camp of El Presidente Santa Anna to distract him from the war plans. Santa Anna was well known to have surrounded himself with attractive ladies.
Link: Timeline of the Texas-Mexican War
Being a natural born Texan, I find this stuff fascinating. The rich Texas history has many legends of heraldry including some excellent stories of the famed Texas Rangers - them are some bad-ass dudes make no mistake. I've known one or two of the modern day version and I can tell you this - you really do not want to be on the wrong end of their ire. History shows that they don't always play by the rules. No doubt this is a topic for future posts.
I'll most likely sprinkle more of my favorite historical notes in this blog as time passes. For now, though, there are chores to be completed or the domesticated room mate will introduce me to her specific brand if ire.
Cheers and be safe.
Texas A&M is a fine university and I've always had a deep respect for its academics in engineering, architecture, military studies, agriculture and science among other areas of study like animal husbandry. In Texas, the Aggie is the brunt of all insulting jokes (we use them in lieu of the Polish people), well, until the last general election. Now, we have a more adequate target.
A&M has a conservative value (virtue?) that permeates the campus and the general mindset of the student body that is rare on college campuses around the country.
This photo was taken on the campus of Texas A&M. It depicts one of the strengths of the agriculture academic programs - feeding barnyard animals gin from a styrofoam cup. I also like that they keep the leftist jackasses behind bars where they belong. The only issue I have is that the sign says, "Beware of dog." This is partially why many jokes are directed toward the university's graduates and student body.
For me though, being in the engineering biz for a substantial portion of my existence, I have worked with hundreds of Aggies and consider them all to be above the grade intellect wise. In fact, the most accurate joke told on them is this:
Q: What do you call an Aggie four years after graduation?
A: Boss.
It's true in many cases.
Many people label the Aggies as a sort of a cult in that the bond held between it's graduates probably exceeds, in camaraderie, that of any other university. I have always been amazed at how close the Aggies seem to be after graduation.
Further illustration of the conservative attributes of Texas A&M is this proposal, which took place on campus beneath the much revered Century Tree. I don't know if she accepted the proposal, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be capable of not doing so considering her hands are stuck to her face in awe in spite of his affiliation to The Corp.
Tradition is held in high regard at Texas A&M and for that, I will always have a healthy respect for the university.
Some of the other things I know about A&M:
- They have a dog grave yard at the football field score board.
- They name all they're dogs (collies) Reveille.
- Reveille is a five star general and highest ranking officer in the Aggie Corp of Cadets.
- If Reveille barks while her attendant is in class, that class is dismissed for the day.
- The don't have cheerleaders or song girls, they have yell leaders...and they are all male.
- Each class of undergraduates has they're own hand sign and yelp.
- After football touchdowns, everybody kisses each other...on the lips.
- The student body stands up through out the entire game.
- They are very, very loud.
- They hate Texas Tech, Baylor (1926) and most of the time Texas.
- They have a most incredible yell practice prior to the A&M vs. Texas game. Did I mention that they are very, very loud?
- They say "gig'em" a lot for no apparent reason.
Ok, one side note here...on occasion, the corp boys (or corpse boys as the pinhead in office might say), have a tendency to do some rather idiotic things. Reference the sword threat versus SMU and the 1926 debacle, which caused the feud between A&M and Baylor (that event was messy at best and caused a 30 year hiatus in football contests between the two schools).
And I always knew Nebraska fans were less than bright, but you have to know that when you do a road trip to A&M, you MUST mind your manners...and for the love of Reveille stay off the football field.
LC Aggie Sith reminded me of the LSU dust up, but I couldn't find a timely photo.
Move along, move along..
Welcome to The Republic of Texas
April 21 was the anniversary of the Battle of San Jacinto, which was fought in 1836 following the signing of the Texas Declaration of Independence, which was deemed official on March 2nd of the same year. Not coincidentally, April 21st was the day that Texas won its independence from Mexico. For some nine years, Texas was a sovereign republic, which is a claim that cannot be made by any other state in the union.
I have several lines of ancestry (including the line with the surname by which I am known) that date back to times prior to the events leading to independence. Some of my ancestors undoubtedly fought in those battles, which are now considered by many to be some of the more interesting battles fought in American history.
The Battle of The Alamo:
On March 6th, 1936, several thousand Mexicans showed up in San Antonio for fiesta and siesta in anticipation of a war rout. It didn't quite go as they had planned, because 140 (estimated) Texans and Tejanos (Hispanic Texans) had other ideas and were able to fight for two weeks. This was important because it gave Sam Houston time to retreat to the east and gather his troops in what was known as the Runaway Scrape.
Alamo casualties:
Texans and Tejanos - 140 (estimated)
Mexicans - 600 (estimated)
History is unclear on the actual numbers, because while all Alamo Texas fighters were killed (allegedly some family members were spared), the lingering wounded Mexicans died in the following days and weeks due to lack of medical personnel.
Link: The Alamo (very well done website)
The Battle at San Jacinto:
It took 18 minutes for Sam Houston and his 850 fighters to defeat the post Alamo remnants (estimated to be about 1500) of the Mexican Army. Apparently Santa Anna's troops were full of fiesta tequila and siesta headache on the day of April 21, 1936. Sam Houston being worthy of legend status around these parts, decided to use this lack of respect as an opportunity for a do or die attack. A wounded Santa Anna was later captured while hiding in the thick woods wearing a private's uniform, which was somewhat significant considering he was a proud and pompous dickhead.
San Jacinto casualties:
Texans - 9 killed, 30 wounded.
Mexicans - 650 killed, 200 wounded, the rest captured.
Side note: The Texans held two main battle cries; "Remember the Alamo" and "Remember Goliad." The Goliad Massacre occurred on or about a March 27, 1836 skirmish between 60 Texans and 350 Mexicans. The Mexicans won the skirmish and subsequently took the remaining Texans prisoner. Santa Anna (dickhead) ordered all prisoners to be executed.
The Yellow Rose of Texas:
The brilliance of Sam Houston offers one side note of genius on the eve prior to the battle. One of the legends claims that Houston sent an attractive mulatto slave, Emily Morgan (or Emily West as the legend is unclear), into the camp of El Presidente Santa Anna to distract him from the war plans. Santa Anna was well known to have surrounded himself with attractive ladies.
Link: Timeline of the Texas-Mexican War
Being a natural born Texan, I find this stuff fascinating. The rich Texas history has many legends of heraldry including some excellent stories of the famed Texas Rangers - them are some bad-ass dudes make no mistake. I've known one or two of the modern day version and I can tell you this - you really do not want to be on the wrong end of their ire. History shows that they don't always play by the rules. No doubt this is a topic for future posts.
I'll most likely sprinkle more of my favorite historical notes in this blog as time passes. For now, though, there are chores to be completed or the domesticated room mate will introduce me to her specific brand if ire.
Cheers and be safe.
20100423
My Solar Magnetic Conveyor Dance Works! Not to Mention That Okla Homa is Two Words!
As I mentioned in this post from last week, I was gong to perform a solar magnetic conveyor dance to help speed up the solar magnetic conveyor so that we could see more images like this one.
There is a new tool out there in space and I'm not talking about Al Gore this time. The new tool is some newly birthed and fresh baked outer space flying machine contracted by the governments called the Solar Dynamic Observatory (SDO).
The SDO was launched in February of this very year (2010) and has finally reached it's cruising altitude of 22,000 miles above terra firma.
According to SOHO, the SDO is capable of:
"...super-HD, full disk frames (4096 x 4096 pixels) and with a frame rate of an image every 10 seconds in each of 10 wavelengths, SDO will capture details of motion that scientists could only dream about just five years ago."
Here is some of the SDOs fine work as released today. The image was taken on April 21, 2010. Check this out for the video and other SDO information.
That's a big "O", as in Oh, WOW!!! Which incidentally has absolutely nothing to do with the idiot in the White House...nor does it have anything to do with Okla Homa.
Which reminds me...
Being born in Texas, there isn't much about Okla Homa that I particularly like. Ok, that's exaggerated, but if my family were to hear me admit to that, I will be without a family. However, I can think of two things about Okla Homa of which I am quite fond.
Ok, make that four things...
Here is Okla Homa during the the 1889 Land Rush. Looks like fun if you're into cheating, killing and squatting, because there was a lot of that going on at the same time. I heard on the radio that this week was some sort of anniversary for this madness.
[Insert]
This is not Okla Homa, but rather, it's Kyle Field located in tranquil College Station, TX. It is the football home of the Texas A&M Fighting Aggies (this is what many of us call the "other" great Texas university). While I am certain this photograph that I subversively bagged from a local Trading Post somewhere in Texas was not produced this Spring, it does illustrate against what we are up weather wise at this time of the year. I have actually been to a football contest at this field and consider it one of my most treasured experiences in spite of my loyalties to THE University of Texas.
[Edited because, while in my Saturday-lulled mind, I didn''t originally see how the Okla Homa Land Rush of 1889 had anything to do with the intended topics of this post. LC Aggie Sith over at Hookers and Booze called me out and adequately corrected me. Props to her...and close insert.]
I'm off topic again. Sorry. [Broken statement in question]
The point of this post is to report that there is unbelievable evidence that our pal Sol is finally getting with the program and the end of the world as we know it is again scheduled for eminent.
I figure that even the dirty lyin' AGW people will try to discredit my theories on GW being a solar problem and not a Human problem. I say this because that fiery crack in the Earth called Mount Eywhateverthefuckitscalledkull (this link is fucking ridiculous, too, by the way), which is located on the Land of Ice and is polluting the atmosphere at such a fantastic pace that it will undoubtedly leave us with a cooler summer. I think our old buddy Sol might just offset that dirty Earthly spat out darkness with some counter balance.
Of course, all this will be ignored by the lying left as they whine about how the speeding up of the magnetic conveyor is insignificant and that AGW is real cause for all the volcanoes and earthquakes that seem to be causing all sorts of chaos lately. Naturally, they will ignore the patterns that we already know about and the latest evolving theories on this sort of seismic activity being somewhat cyclical to boot.
NEWS FLASH: As I type this, I hear on my transistor radio that another volcano has erupted in the land formerly known as Iceland. More on this later, because I am now quite interested.
I find it retarded that the greenies are now beginning to glorify this blowd up glacier mountain for helping to curb CO2 levels in the atmosphere citing the reduction in air travel as the cause for such scientific non-sense.
Well, let them yammer on, because I am onto them before they get started. Bring it, bitches.
Triple hell-yeah and a double mono-digital salute, assholes.
Oh, one more thing...
What the hell was I hearing about earlier this week about some Islamic cleric saying that all the earthquakes and volcanoes were because some dude named Allah was pissed off? The cleric said something about some chick or what ever showing her legs publicly, which has angered Allah, who is punishing the entire planet, because nakedness is not right? Now, this is fucking retarded, because everyone knows that when females show too much skin, that has more to do with GW than anything else and nothing to do with seismic activity or plate tectonics.
In fact, that is my new theory - Naked chicks cause global warming.
I'll have to add this to my research list.
There is a new tool out there in space and I'm not talking about Al Gore this time. The new tool is some newly birthed and fresh baked outer space flying machine contracted by the governments called the Solar Dynamic Observatory (SDO).
The SDO was launched in February of this very year (2010) and has finally reached it's cruising altitude of 22,000 miles above terra firma.
According to SOHO, the SDO is capable of:
"...super-HD, full disk frames (4096 x 4096 pixels) and with a frame rate of an image every 10 seconds in each of 10 wavelengths, SDO will capture details of motion that scientists could only dream about just five years ago."
Here is some of the SDOs fine work as released today. The image was taken on April 21, 2010. Check this out for the video and other SDO information.
That's a big "O", as in Oh, WOW!!! Which incidentally has absolutely nothing to do with the idiot in the White House...nor does it have anything to do with Okla Homa.
Which reminds me...
Being born in Texas, there isn't much about Okla Homa that I particularly like. Ok, that's exaggerated, but if my family were to hear me admit to that, I will be without a family. However, I can think of two things about Okla Homa of which I am quite fond.
Ok, make that four things...
Here is Okla Homa during the the 1889 Land Rush. Looks like fun if you're into cheating, killing and squatting, because there was a lot of that going on at the same time. I heard on the radio that this week was some sort of anniversary for this madness.
[Insert]
This is not Okla Homa, but rather, it's Kyle Field located in tranquil College Station, TX. It is the football home of the Texas A&M Fighting Aggies (this is what many of us call the "other" great Texas university). While I am certain this photograph that I subversively bagged from a local Trading Post somewhere in Texas was not produced this Spring, it does illustrate against what we are up weather wise at this time of the year. I have actually been to a football contest at this field and consider it one of my most treasured experiences in spite of my loyalties to THE University of Texas.
[Edited because, while in my Saturday-lulled mind, I didn''t originally see how the Okla Homa Land Rush of 1889 had anything to do with the intended topics of this post. LC Aggie Sith over at Hookers and Booze called me out and adequately corrected me. Props to her...and close insert.]
I'm off topic again. Sorry. [Broken statement in question]
The point of this post is to report that there is unbelievable evidence that our pal Sol is finally getting with the program and the end of the world as we know it is again scheduled for eminent.
I figure that even the dirty lyin' AGW people will try to discredit my theories on GW being a solar problem and not a Human problem. I say this because that fiery crack in the Earth called Mount Eywhateverthefuckitscalledkull (this link is fucking ridiculous, too, by the way), which is located on the Land of Ice and is polluting the atmosphere at such a fantastic pace that it will undoubtedly leave us with a cooler summer. I think our old buddy Sol might just offset that dirty Earthly spat out darkness with some counter balance.
Of course, all this will be ignored by the lying left as they whine about how the speeding up of the magnetic conveyor is insignificant and that AGW is real cause for all the volcanoes and earthquakes that seem to be causing all sorts of chaos lately. Naturally, they will ignore the patterns that we already know about and the latest evolving theories on this sort of seismic activity being somewhat cyclical to boot.
NEWS FLASH: As I type this, I hear on my transistor radio that another volcano has erupted in the land formerly known as Iceland. More on this later, because I am now quite interested.
I find it retarded that the greenies are now beginning to glorify this blowd up glacier mountain for helping to curb CO2 levels in the atmosphere citing the reduction in air travel as the cause for such scientific non-sense.
Well, let them yammer on, because I am onto them before they get started. Bring it, bitches.
Triple hell-yeah and a double mono-digital salute, assholes.
Oh, one more thing...
What the hell was I hearing about earlier this week about some Islamic cleric saying that all the earthquakes and volcanoes were because some dude named Allah was pissed off? The cleric said something about some chick or what ever showing her legs publicly, which has angered Allah, who is punishing the entire planet, because nakedness is not right? Now, this is fucking retarded, because everyone knows that when females show too much skin, that has more to do with GW than anything else and nothing to do with seismic activity or plate tectonics.
In fact, that is my new theory - Naked chicks cause global warming.
I'll have to add this to my research list.
20100422
BREAKING NEWS: Shoe Sale Down At the ZombieMart
I think I'll swing by and score me a pair of these footies on the way home. I'm pretty sure there isn't anything (yet) in the Employee Manual of Employer Rules and Codes of Conduct under Article 3 : Dress Code that specifically prevents the use of these in the work place. To be safe, though, I'll toe the water on Casual Friday.
I'm caught up in the TV show Flash Forward. I decided that since the writers of that other TV show called 24 have been taking script advice from the mentally impaired, I need a new weekly program to waste more of my time. FF had some pretty nifty scenarios in the beginning, but even it's become more of a daytime drama than a cool scientifically based mindfuck. Speaking of 24, it's ending this year after the eighth season...or is it the eighth day? Like i said, I know why, too. The scripts suck ass. Actually, now that I think of it, after the first three days (seasons), it has been pretty much down hill.
Edit: You might be asking why I have kept up with 24 all these years. I can answer that. Basically, the character of Jack Bauer is about the only real man type character (absent of lefty type softness seen in about every other TV show) left on the weekly TV guide. That, and there is always a nice array of guns and explosions.
After Flash Forward, then its over to the Speed Channel for another lame episode of Bullrun. I was sort of digging that show last season, but aside from the fantastic cars, there isn't much there in the way of entertainment. I don't know, since I've stay tuned for the season so far, I might as well watch the last few episodes. Something might get wrecked...and things explode, which is always sort of cool.
Edit: I ended up doing what I do most often - watched the Science Channel until midnight.
I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Kari is back from maternity leave. I happened across a new Myth Busters the other day. They made cannons out of leather. I like these cannons better than the ones they made out of duct tape even when the breech gave it up and back-ploded, but nothing was more fun than watching the water heaters under 35 psi (I think) blow themselves 250 feet skyward.
Oh, and happy Earth Day. I would call my green friends and tell them that , but I don't have any green friends any more. I shot them all dead back in 2004 because they lost their minds due to the Gorean-Dementia disease. It was sad watching them suffer like that. I now consider myself a humanitarian.
Speaking of saving the planet, I have a question (shamelessly stolen from the great Mark Davis [edit: it was George Carlin played on Mark Davis' show]):
Earth has been on it's own for 4.6 billion years and it did quite well without our help. I mean, in spite of being magmatically boiled, pounded by asteroids and space rocks, quaked, flooded and
volcanoed to hell and back, why do we need to save it from plastic baggies and water bottles?
Answer: This landscape photograph of Mother Earth shows that without a doubt that she is alive and doing pretty darn well.
Ok, couch potato time.
I'm caught up in the TV show Flash Forward. I decided that since the writers of that other TV show called 24 have been taking script advice from the mentally impaired, I need a new weekly program to waste more of my time. FF had some pretty nifty scenarios in the beginning, but even it's become more of a daytime drama than a cool scientifically based mindfuck. Speaking of 24, it's ending this year after the eighth season...or is it the eighth day? Like i said, I know why, too. The scripts suck ass. Actually, now that I think of it, after the first three days (seasons), it has been pretty much down hill.
Edit: You might be asking why I have kept up with 24 all these years. I can answer that. Basically, the character of Jack Bauer is about the only real man type character (absent of lefty type softness seen in about every other TV show) left on the weekly TV guide. That, and there is always a nice array of guns and explosions.
After Flash Forward, then its over to the Speed Channel for another lame episode of Bullrun. I was sort of digging that show last season, but aside from the fantastic cars, there isn't much there in the way of entertainment. I don't know, since I've stay tuned for the season so far, I might as well watch the last few episodes. Something might get wrecked...and things explode, which is always sort of cool.
Edit: I ended up doing what I do most often - watched the Science Channel until midnight.
I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Kari is back from maternity leave. I happened across a new Myth Busters the other day. They made cannons out of leather. I like these cannons better than the ones they made out of duct tape even when the breech gave it up and back-ploded, but nothing was more fun than watching the water heaters under 35 psi (I think) blow themselves 250 feet skyward.
Oh, and happy Earth Day. I would call my green friends and tell them that , but I don't have any green friends any more. I shot them all dead back in 2004 because they lost their minds due to the Gorean-Dementia disease. It was sad watching them suffer like that. I now consider myself a humanitarian.
Speaking of saving the planet, I have a question (shamelessly stolen from the great Mark Davis [edit: it was George Carlin played on Mark Davis' show]):
Earth has been on it's own for 4.6 billion years and it did quite well without our help. I mean, in spite of being magmatically boiled, pounded by asteroids and space rocks, quaked, flooded and
volcanoed to hell and back, why do we need to save it from plastic baggies and water bottles?
Answer: This landscape photograph of Mother Earth shows that without a doubt that she is alive and doing pretty darn well.
Ok, couch potato time.
20100420
Clever Use of Breathilizers
Another post from my email in box.
Rita Hayworth was not in my in box, but I pulled out my HP Scientific RPN II and figured these parabolas deserve graphing. It's all in the mathematics.
Extreme White Space (Between My Nose and My Invisible Pony Tail)
White space is something I learned in one of my technical writing courses way the hell back in college. One of the few important things that I remember from my work at university is the importance of white space. Here's some white space with some grey blobby things mixed in for the sanctity of Oz.
However, it seems the digital minions lurking in this software bound hardware believe that white space should be utilized to the extreme. I actually caught one of the little buggers trying to steal away...probably to raid my fridge.
Barbara Bush? I know. I can't believe it either.
One thing about that ridiculous looking Smart Car. The owner's aren't.
They start out looking like this...
Then, when the wind picks up a little, this happens...
Actually, I am sort of surprised, because I always figured those little toy cars would bounce down the road like tennis balls.
Which reminds me - I remember when my adolescent nieces were into Hello Kitty gear.
Of course, when the deviant uncle shows up for the family outings, he brings subversive tactics like introducing the nieces to things more worth while, like street racing.
I should also state that my only nephew has a little different mindset and I can't say as I blame him. He says in his little boy voice...
Once again, absolutely zero thought went into this post, which I think qualifies me for the US House of Representatives.
However, it seems the digital minions lurking in this software bound hardware believe that white space should be utilized to the extreme. I actually caught one of the little buggers trying to steal away...probably to raid my fridge.
Barbara Bush? I know. I can't believe it either.
One thing about that ridiculous looking Smart Car. The owner's aren't.
They start out looking like this...
Then, when the wind picks up a little, this happens...
Actually, I am sort of surprised, because I always figured those little toy cars would bounce down the road like tennis balls.
Which reminds me - I remember when my adolescent nieces were into Hello Kitty gear.
Of course, when the deviant uncle shows up for the family outings, he brings subversive tactics like introducing the nieces to things more worth while, like street racing.
I should also state that my only nephew has a little different mindset and I can't say as I blame him. He says in his little boy voice...
Once again, absolutely zero thought went into this post, which I think qualifies me for the US House of Representatives.
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