Spider Talk

This is a Spider. (Sun Spider)













This is a spider on drugs.



















This is a spider on me. (re-enactment**)
















This is me on a spider.














Any questions?


** - Re-enacted because spiders do this.

Dry Ice vs Cinder Block - No Contest

No words are necessary.

Entomological Carnivores

Twice this week, the largely ignored ant lion creature has come up in conversation. Once by the domesticated room mate and once over at McGoo's Aardvark and Asshat Saloon.

I've only actually seen an ant lion once, but I've seen millions (estimated) of their little dirty death traps. I figure they are largely ignored, because they are rarely seen. If it were me that discovered them, I would have probably labeled them something other than ant lion like The Steampunkin Bug or something.













For those who don't know, they build little traps for things like, well, ants to fall in. Once trapped, the ants are consumed over linen cloth with fine china and silverware...and a nice bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.













The ant lioness, on the other hand, has a more sinister trap, which in this case is disguised beneath a veil of microfiber.

















The ant lioness also uses sand traps as seen above and has the ability to imbibe her prey with sweet perfumes and fermented substances. It should be noted that her mating call of death includes phraseology like, "I'm so drunk," and "do you like my new boobs."

This is a lady bug larvae, which is considered the most voracious carnivore on planet Earth. In spite of her diminutive stature, each one can consume up to 400 aphids.














This rampant killer eventually grows into one of these after several sheddings or re-hatchings.


















The final stage is the full blown lady bug like this one cleverly hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans and her large bag of trickeration which includes various colors of camouflage paints and alluring scents.

















The adult lady bug is capable of consuming the much larger dude bug in a single sitting. The larger dude bugs have many different appearances in order to disguise themselves from the females. They are no match for the more diminutive lady bugs, because when in the presence of the infinitely cunning lady bug, the dude bug becomes clumsy and hapless.

















Like most carnivores, the lady bugs prefer their victims to be very large, so that they can feed upon his flesh for months or even years.

















In this rare National Geographic photo, a lady bug leeches onto an unsuspecting dude bug to snatch the life from him as she pulls him to certain death.

















Pay close attention to the other dude bugs as they watch the event with unsuspecting and curious anticipation. The allure of the lady bug is sinister at best and knows no bounds as she hunts down and devours her prey.

In another scientific report, this is a grackle.

My Solar Magnetic Conveyor Dance Works! Not to Mention That Okla Homa is Two Words!

As I mentioned in this post from last week, I was gong to perform a solar magnetic conveyor dance to help speed up the solar magnetic conveyor so that we could see more images like this one.












There is a new tool out there in space and I'm not talking about Al Gore this time. The new tool is some newly birthed and fresh baked outer space flying machine contracted by the governments called the Solar Dynamic Observatory (SDO).

The SDO was launched in February of this very year (2010) and has finally reached it's cruising altitude of 22,000 miles above terra firma.

According to SOHO, the SDO is capable of:

"...super-HD, full disk frames (4096 x 4096 pixels) and with a frame rate of an image every 10 seconds in each of 10 wavelengths, SDO will capture details of motion that scientists could only dream about just five years ago."

Here is some of the SDOs fine work as released today. The image was taken on April 21, 2010. Check this out for the video and other SDO information.

















That's a big "O", as in Oh, WOW!!! Which incidentally has absolutely nothing to do with the idiot in the White House...nor does it have anything to do with Okla Homa.

Which reminds me...

Being born in Texas, there isn't much about Okla Homa that I particularly like. Ok, that's exaggerated, but if my family were to hear me admit to that, I will be without a family. However, I can think of two things about Okla Homa of which I am quite fond.


















Ok, make that four things...

















Here is Okla Homa during the the 1889 Land Rush. Looks like fun if you're into cheating, killing and squatting, because there was a lot of that going on at the same time. I heard on the radio that this week was some sort of anniversary for this madness.











[Insert]
This is not Okla Homa, but rather, it's Kyle Field located in tranquil College Station, TX. It is the football home of the Texas A&M Fighting Aggies (this is what many of us call the "other" great Texas university). While I am certain this photograph that I subversively bagged from a local Trading Post somewhere in Texas was not produced this Spring, it does illustrate against what we are up weather wise at this time of the year. I have actually been to a football contest at this field and consider it one of my most treasured experiences in spite of my loyalties to THE University of Texas.












[Edited because, while in my Saturday-lulled mind, I didn''t originally see how the Okla Homa Land Rush of 1889 had anything to do with the intended topics of this post. LC Aggie Sith over at Hookers and Booze called me out and adequately corrected me. Props to her...and close insert.]

I'm off topic again. Sorry. [Broken statement in question]

The point of this post is to report that there is unbelievable evidence that our pal Sol is finally getting with the program and the end of the world as we know it is again scheduled for eminent.

I figure that even the dirty lyin' AGW people will try to discredit my theories on GW being a solar problem and not a Human problem. I say this because that fiery crack in the Earth called Mount Eywhateverthefuckitscalledkull (this link is fucking ridiculous, too, by the way), which is located on the Land of Ice and is polluting the atmosphere at such a fantastic pace that it will undoubtedly leave us with a cooler summer. I think our old buddy Sol might just offset that dirty Earthly spat out darkness with some counter balance.

Of course, all this will be ignored by the lying left as they whine about how the speeding up of the magnetic conveyor is insignificant and that AGW is real cause for all the volcanoes and earthquakes that seem to be causing all sorts of chaos lately. Naturally, they will ignore the patterns that we already know about and the latest evolving theories on this sort of seismic activity being somewhat cyclical to boot.

NEWS FLASH: As I type this, I hear on my transistor radio that another volcano has erupted in the land formerly known as Iceland. More on this later, because I am now quite interested.

I find it retarded that the greenies are now beginning to glorify this blowd up glacier mountain for helping to curb CO2 levels in the atmosphere citing the reduction in air travel as the cause for such scientific non-sense.

Well, let them yammer on, because I am onto them before they get started. Bring it, bitches.

Triple hell-yeah and a double mono-digital salute, assholes.

Oh, one more thing...
What the hell was I hearing about earlier this week about some Islamic cleric saying that all the earthquakes and volcanoes were because some dude named Allah was pissed off? The cleric said something about some chick or what ever showing her legs publicly, which has angered Allah, who is punishing the entire planet, because nakedness is not right? Now, this is fucking retarded, because everyone knows that when females show too much skin, that has more to do with GW than anything else and nothing to do with seismic activity or plate tectonics.

In fact, that is my new theory - Naked chicks cause global warming.

I'll have to add this to my research list.

BREAKING NEWS: Shoe Sale Down At the ZombieMart

I think I'll swing by and score me a pair of these footies on the way home. I'm pretty sure there isn't anything (yet) in the Employee Manual of Employer Rules and Codes of Conduct under Article 3 : Dress Code that specifically prevents the use of these in the work place. To be safe, though, I'll toe the water on Casual Friday.


































I'm caught up in the TV show Flash Forward. I decided that since the writers of that other TV show called 24 have been taking script advice from the mentally impaired, I need a new weekly program to waste more of my time. FF had some pretty nifty scenarios in the beginning, but even it's become more of a daytime drama than a cool scientifically based mindfuck. Speaking of 24, it's ending this year after the eighth season...or is it the eighth day? Like i said, I know why, too. The scripts suck ass. Actually, now that I think of it, after the first three days (seasons), it has been pretty much down hill.

Edit: You might be asking why I have kept up with 24 all these years. I can answer that. Basically, the character of Jack Bauer is about the only real man type character (absent of lefty type softness seen in about every other TV show) left on the weekly TV guide. That, and there is always a nice array of guns and explosions.

After Flash Forward, then its over to the Speed Channel for another lame episode of Bullrun. I was sort of digging that show last season, but aside from the fantastic cars, there isn't much there in the way of entertainment. I don't know, since I've stay tuned for the season so far, I might as well watch the last few episodes. Something might get wrecked...and things explode, which is always sort of cool.

Edit: I ended up doing what I do most often - watched the Science Channel until midnight.

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but Kari is back from maternity leave. I happened across a new Myth Busters the other day. They made cannons out of leather. I like these cannons better than the ones they made out of duct tape even when the breech gave it up and back-ploded, but nothing was more fun than watching the water heaters under 35 psi (I think) blow themselves 250 feet skyward.

Oh, and happy Earth Day. I would call my green friends and tell them that , but I don't have any green friends any more. I shot them all dead back in 2004 because they lost their minds due to the Gorean-Dementia disease. It was sad watching them suffer like that. I now consider myself a humanitarian.

Speaking of saving the planet, I have a question (shamelessly stolen from the great Mark Davis [edit: it was George Carlin played on Mark Davis' show]):
Earth has been on it's own for 4.6 billion years and it did quite well without our help. I mean, in spite of being magmatically boiled, pounded by asteroids and space rocks, quaked, flooded and
volcanoed to hell and back, why do we need to save it from plastic baggies and water bottles?

Answer: This landscape photograph of Mother Earth shows that without a doubt that she is alive and doing pretty darn well.















Ok, couch potato time.

Fish Chat

Got this in email. Couldn't not post it.

Blog Faced and Freakonnoitering

Upon my cursory survey of the first two weeks of this blog blight display, I find that I do like where this is going. I added a banner up top, which will undoubtedly change over the weekend, because while I think I like it, I am not totally on board with the overall appearance. Eh...

Edit: Updated the head banner. I like this one much better.

More pole girls? Perhaps I need more of those, although I must say that I much prefer girls with guns over girls with poles...unless of course...



















...and this is important, you suffer from binocular vision impairment due to a broken steropsis module like the entire Flat Earth Society. George over at Forgotten Futures goes into great detail regarding an array of philosophical scientific periphery less the necessary three dimensional forms like the one above. In fact, I lifted the flat Earth theory like the one below from George.














The Aurora Borealis is one of those sweet treats that this natural world gives us. I'm sure the Flat Earthers have this phenomenon eloquently explained. Now, if we can only jump start the solar magnetic conveyor so that we can receive some flare-like outflow to make more of these:













If the conveyor remains in repose, then perhaps during the 2010 Summer Solstice, I'll have to again resort to my Solar Wind Storm Dance.

SOHO's Latest While Steampunkin' Across the Universe

Since fiddling about over the networks during the last year, I have become rather fascinated with various gadgetry - specifically steampunk apparati.

I first realized the greatness of steampunk stuff in the Victorian style from Aardvarks and Asshats with Soylent Green contributions. Since then, it's been almost an obsession for me. For a better idea of steampunk, check out Abney Park and The Wild, Wild West (in French dub).

Here is one. The laptop calculator.





















































There is more about this cool cat daddy-o (and other stuff) over at Datamancer.

Also, on my intergalactic journey I passed by this large gaseous orb (Sun).


















The Sun at 13:00 hours, April 14, 2010

Observation: Magnetic conveyor still seems to be dragging behind the expected solar schedule of scientist who are at least very much smarter than I. Speculation is that this solar activity delay has put the planning of the much anticipated End of the World beyond the previously understood date of December 21, 2012.

The last days will now be postponed a few years (100 to be exact); December 21, 2112.

This is a good thing. The musical overture has already been written, because the Meek Shall Inherit the Earth...just sayin'.

We've taken care of everything
The words you hear, the songs you sing
The pictures that give pleasure to your eyes
It's one for all and all for one
We work together, common sons
Never need to wonder how or why

We are the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx
Our great computers fill the hallowed halls
We are the Priests, of the Temples of Syrinx
All the gifts of life are held within our walls

Look around at this world we've made
Equality our stock in trade
Come and join the Brotherhood of Man
Oh, what a nice, contented world
Let the banners be unfurled
Hold the Red Star proudly high in hand

We are the Priests of the Temples of Syrinx
Our great computers fill the hallowed halls
We are the Priests, of the Temples of Syrinx
All the gifts of life are held within our walls

Rush 2112

Or, if you prefer...Shakespearean Entropy

DARK hills at evening in the west,
Where sunset hovers like a sound
Of golden horns that sang to rest
Old bones of warriors under ground,
Far now from all the bannered ways
Where flash the legions of the sun,
You fade—as if the last of days
Were fading, and all wars were done

I don't know. Work has my mind in bondage. Two weeks worth of mental incarceration has me a little punchy.

Punchy, indeed.

USAF X-1 Mustang and Vapor Challenger

For me, this is the chit!
.
USAF X-1 Mustang

Built by the US Air Force with tax payer monies. I suppose they are used them for marketing and recruiting. I'm ok with this tax expenditure. Some might object, but at least with this waste of money, I can actually see where the cash went...besides, it's almost cooler than bullets (and I don't mean Bullitt).













This is a single-seater design withe seat centered in the cockpit. It has a nifty Air Force grade retractable steering wheel, digital displays all around. There are really too many over the top gadgets to mention in the short amount of time I have at the moment.













See the video.

.
USAF Vapor Challenger

I love Mustangs, but this is pretty fuggin cool too.















This one features some stealth and 360 degree video monitoring. Note the custom stealthy carbon fiber body enhancements.













See the video.

There is more at Car Body Design and Ride Lust.

Equinae Miscelleny - Mixed Breeds

With regard to the influx of various cross bred equinae into our political spotlight, I find it important to be able to hold some distinction between the various mix-breed species of hooved animals of labor.

Common Work Horse: Not commonly referred to as a mix breed, but cross-breeding is acceptable under controlled conditions. One of various breeds of ethically strong and hard working proletariat equinae. Known to be satisfied with fair work for fair share of oats and livery. Known to associate with like minded breeds with little or no tolerance for less ethical breeds.















Domesticated Jackass: A four-footed, hoofed mammal related to the horse, but smaller, with longer ears and a shorter mane, shorter hair on the tail, and a dark stripe along the back. Sometimes confused as a mix bred animal, but for the sake of clarity, I am including it in the post. Member of the non-participating equine proletariat.



















Mule: A domesticated, hybrid animal that results from crossing a mare (female horse) and a jack (male donkey). Known to be stubborn and somewhat lazy. Associates only with its kind and occasionally with the political jackasses. Member of the unionized equine proletariat (often compared to the sheep species).



















Political Jackass: A non-domestic, hybrid species that results from cross-breeding an African Arabian with a Red Mare. When associated with other socialized breeds, this animal tends to reach the maturity stage with stubborn arrogance and with little regard for the proletariat breeds.



















Breed Unknown: Semi-domesticated species with no proven ancestry, however it is believed to be cross bred from a political jackass and a common dumb ass. Claims to be a war horse, but there are no significant associations to prove such claims. Easily injured. Loves ketchup.



















Pony Girl: Dominated effeminate submissive, cross-bred between Hosplay and propan-2-ylbenzene (latex); varietal also, polyvinyl chloride (PVC). Origin unknown.

A Red Sun, Some Bull Sh!t and Blue Balls, Because There Happens to be a Redhead in Our Midst.

I should sub-title this post A Remedial Course in Global Temperature Theory (because that's what it is), but I won't, because if any of those Greeners stop in, they'll need this information in order to maintain inner conflict. Too much good data, too fast, could pop corn between their Henry Waxman filled ears.

I really dig it when overlays taken from multiple spectrum data collectors find themselves super imposed in one image. Here is some nifty imagery showing our Sun and it's nasty little tendencies to be outwardly agitated due to the magnetic conveyor that pulses radiation inside its gaseous exterior...and then outwardly in order to spray our beloved Mother Earth in a shower of wickedness.

Glory be to He who created our tiny blue ball of goodness for it's own mace-like polar spray of magnetism, which, as everyone knows (including the incredibly talented Aurora Borealis workers), shields us from the evil solar wind driven bath.














Image lifted from space.com because it was there and I was here.

Magnetic conveyor? You dang skippy, magnetic conveyor. Unlike all the fuss over AGW, which has no real data to substantiate the mythical religion although they claim such. At least SOHO says openly that they can't say for certain what in the Dark Matter is going on.

According to the Solar and Heliospheric Observatory:

"One of the outstanding questions facing solar physicists is the origin of the solar magnetic cycle: What drives the 11-year sunspot cycle? We have just passed an extended and deep minimum, unlike any in the past 100 years. The late onset of the new solar cycle (#24) and the unusually deep minimum between cycles 23 and 24 took all experts by surprise, which suggests that there is a fundamental lack in our understanding of the origin of the solar activity cycle."

There is more on that, here.

Now, I find it beyond coincidence that the AGW alarmist claim that this same period of time has nothing to do with solar activity, but rather CO2 levels. Being the irate skeptic that I am, I have to ask, "How can you ignore REAL science?" At some point they will have to pull their fish brained heads out of their rectum and realize that, for the most part, all collected global temperature data over the last 20-30 (or more) years is basically invalid for various reasons.

HERESY!!!

Yes, I said it, and by golly, I meant it. In addition, Skippy says that not only is the data faulty, but its also been tampered with to the degree of fraud. Why, just now, within the last year or so are we getting to the point where we can even state with any certainty that we are on the right rabbit trail to establishing a data base for temperature data.

I expect that, if Mother Earth allows, then within the next 50 years, we will have a decent method for tracking such important details. That is of course unless the leftist (alleged) scientists continue to play doctor with the friggin' riggin'.

Don't blame the bovine for the following series of photos. Blame that other dude. The bovine should be commended for being traffic-rated.

























































It's a stinkin' Pointiac for cryin' out loud.

In other wayward directives, Skippy reminded me of this. It's dear, sweet pre-conception Kari (and perhaps pre-boob job Kari?). [ed. Finally, a redhead. ~ Agreed!)















I was told that this was clip-lifted from an early Mythbusters episode dealing with sharks or something or other. I don't know nothin' about that, but I can tell she's operating a lift mechanism...and not the one in her fist, either.

My other GW source theory involves the phenomenon of "in flagrante delicto" combined with magnified lenses, ant poison and mashed potatoes.

I Was Gonna Name It Death of an Angstrom, But I Didn't

Ok, so since there is this passing fad of blogosophy, and not being one to retreat from such trendy fashions, I did some rather lengthy calculations and found that I am minimally capable of such nonsense.

















Calculation results: Five or twenty-three.

Interpetation (and this is important): In accordance with (approval pending) McGoo's First Law of Blogosophy, with much recourse by negotiable instruments, and stated snarkery, the founder of this blog, based solely upon science and whimsy, thereby interpolates the following in order to generate ionically positive electrons (and molecular movement in solids) and because he decided that this is imperative:














No, she's not a redhead, but she will be in twenty-three years (refer to above calculations) when her blond tresses become less colorful. It's all in the name of vanity based chemistry.

And finally the German Anthropogenic Global Warming Asshat Retro-Science Manufacturing (GAGWARM) Snow Mobile.














Furthermore, if I knew what in the Dark Matter I was doing, I would do it like I knew what in the Dark Matter I was doing.