ACME Nano-Rocket Powered Exocet Beta Testing

While rumaging through this blog file, I found this apparently unposted entry. I barely remember writing this, but I suspect that it had something to do with my old darts team. I am pushing the "publish" button, because I really do not care about possible backlash (I mean that).

I've been in the ACME Lab quite a bit lately working on the Exocet design. Early mock ups have been, shall I say, less than successful.

I've hired a couple of assistants for my lab work since the "nano" portion of the development is still in, well, development. Due to certain complications, I found it necessary, to conscript an assistant or two. Perhaps developing dart warheads is similar to the development of computers where, in the early stages, they are rather large in scale.

Please meet Nevil and Frances. I have negotiated a contract of unconditional labor hours for match tickets and free ACME lab samples.of other ACME products. Nevil was quick to agree to the terms, while Francis required additional coaxing. Therefore, I reluctantly offered each of them room and board in the Lab...for now.

Above: Nevil and Francis hauling out the prototype beta test ACME Destroyer 1. Little Sebastian is perhaps camera shy, but has provided invaluable help around the Lab.

Above: The first successful beta test.

Now, I must develop the pocket size prototype due to the original prototype being somewhat on the cumbersome side of convenience. In a perfect world climate, the final design should be in the neighborhood of 4-5"...not just small enough to fit in the neighborhood itself. I have labeled the next stage of prototype, the ACME Nano-Rocket Powered Exocet.

I have contracted a company located in Brooklyn in order to reduce the overall size of the Exocet power plant. They have sent me the first ever ACME Nano-Rocket Power Plant sample. Impressive I say, and yet, affordable.

In other developments, the government has become quite interested in the ACME Laboratory work. I was able to workout a treaty of sorts. Of course, I didn't give them the actual name of our cause, because, well, that would violate all rules of Top Secret endeavors.

That is all I have for now. Be safe out there. I have heard rumors that, in our midst, are spies representing the opposing forces. It is imperative that we maintain secrecy in all of our ACME Lab works.

Your ever courageous leader,



Yes, this is the insecticide that used to I murdered my garden.

What I now know about Malathion:

 - I bought a quart of the hellish substance. I should have known that since it didn't come in a spray bottle, it wasn't ready for immediate use. Once I peeled off the label and read the instructions, the quart was supposed to be diluted times 48 gallons of water. Think about a quart bottle of oil versus and oil drum. Dangit!

- Malathion has a military use. It's called Serin Gas. Yes, the very same nerve gas found in some of Saddam's weapon stockpiles and also, what he used against the Kurds a few decades ago.

- Malathion smells really, really bad...even after a week-full of rain and a week full of evaporative sun.

I have to wonder how this stuff is even legal to buy at the local mega-home-improvement-marts. Crikey!

Makes me also wonder why I had to buy AMDRO for my ant hill problem. I can make 48 gallons of anti-ant nerve gas solution with little or more than adding an oil drum full of water.

All this explains why after application, my garden lasted 60 seconds before folding up like the Democ voting base.


Ok, so I am way the hell behind here. I'm blaming it on Summer...and Obama.

Actually, much of my time has been spent tooling up a new dart team. Not that putting it together has much difficulty, but I finally have it together and the team signed up for the fall leagues. I have nine player (self included) plus one hopeful. Should be a blast. I also built a team blog, which could be fun...well, I hope it's funny anyway.

Ok, I've actually been playing a few tournaments and practicing about 1-4 hours a day. I'm dead serious about the upcoming season. Will the hard practice make a difference? Probably not, but it won't hurt.

The benefit concert on Saturday with Decyfer Down and four or so other bands was awesome. I found it strand to attend a concert with heavy, hard rock and roll of the highest quality that not only has a strong message, but also breaks to simply point upward, if you know what I mean. Just inspiring in every sense of the word.

Other than that personal poo...

Can ya dig it? The Democs are bailing on President Inexperience like the vermin that they are from a sinking Flotilla One. I wonder what the reasoning might be that is the pivot point I was gonna say lynch pin, but, well, that just might be taken all wrong)?

Let's if I can answer my won question. Could it be...

Health care?
The Oil Spill?
Crap and Tirade?
NASA in charge of Arabic relations? Wait...what?
New Black Panther voter intimidation issues?

While any of these could be the cause, I tend to think it's something much, much simpler. How about this?


Yeah, that's probably the reason. I figure none of that other stuff would have happened otherwise.


US v. AZ

This whole case is maddening. This, while Obama continues to lose the Independent voter support. I wonder how long it will be before his Democ support begins to fade.

According to Fox News:
S.B. 1070 has subjected the United States to direct criticism by other countries and international organizations and has resulted in a breakdown in certain planned bilateral and multilateral arrangements on issues such as border security and disaster management," the suit claims. "S.B. 1070 has in these ways undermined several aspects of U.S. foreign policy related to immigration issues and other national concerns that are unrelated to immigration.
Undermines national security? Excuse me?

The suit cites Mexican President Felipe Calderon's May address to Congress where he blasted the Arizona immigration law and a travel alert Mexico's Foreign Ministry issued in late April for Mexicans visiting Arizona.
Wait..what? Visitors?

This is pure abomination of American rights as citizens. What I can't figure out is why the hell the States aren't bringing suits against the federal government. Every US citizen should be fighting against this sort of infiltration. One needs to look no further than Lebanon, Afghanistan and any of the African countries to see what insurgency looks like.


Decyfer Down - Ride With Me

Goind to see this band on July 10th. I can't wait.


Quick Hitting - Somebody Make It Stop

Garden: I killed my pepper plants. Not intentionally, so I guess it's more like plantslaughter rather than herbicide in the first degree. Niel Sperry, noted Texas plant expert said on his Saturday morning radio broadcast to use Malathion for spider mites. So, I did. Ten minutes later the plants were deader than Obama's administration. I hate it when manufacturer's place the instructions for using said products under the label so that you have to peel it back to see that the chemical is supposed to be diluted. I don't see very well these days and when such fine print is so well hidden, I have a tendency to miss it. Bah! Put it like this, gasoline would have taken longer to kill the garden than Malathion. at least I now know what to do on that giant fire ant metropolis out by the curb. However, I fear that it might melt the concrete, so perhaps I should just stick with the Amdro and be done with it.

California: Are You Effing Serious?
Digital license plates? The CA Senate has passed a bill that will force residents to have digital license plates. The goal is to sell advertisements such that when a car stops at a red light, then the license number fades and advertising can scroll for the car behind to read. Now, I can't help but think that this is a bad idea. My first thought was that I can't wait for the hackers (and we know CA doesn't have many of those, right?) to seep into that market. Ok, so they can run public service announcements like Amber Alerts and such, but they can also begin a brain washing campaign for politicking. Perhaps the worst thing is that an individual will have no control over what is being displayed in his/her car: feminine hygiene products, Hooters, BP Oil, Sierra Club, etc. .

Funeral: Yeah, I Went To One
Long time dart buddy passed away last week. Hundreds showed up for the visitation. He was one of the good dudes and will be missed.

Weather: Hotter than two rats making a porn flick in a wool sock...and not a drop of rain. I fear the Texas Summer of 1980 is making a comeback.- 89 straight days without rain, 14 straight days of 110-plus temps, 100 days over 100 degrees or some chit.

The Administration: Oh, don't EVEN get me started.
Ok, I'm starting. Since He's on the war path with BP Oil, I guess that's spilling over to our military generals who question the leadership of the administration. Can these two just play Jeopardy so that we can see who the "smarter" man happens to be? Barbara Boxer can be the third candidate just for the whimsical side show and the general can degrade her by addressing her as ma'am (madam would work better, since she's such a fucking whore).

Oil Spill: Two plus months in and...I'm Waiting, Mr. President.

You know? I was waiting for a national disaster, because it became apparent early on that this idiot only sees money that can be used to further the socialist agenda. It's not like every other president in history hasn't had hurricanes, earthquakes or Lewinskys to rob the public funds for unprecedented aid. Who died and made this fucker boss...oh, yeah. the dead voters did.

Arizona: Can I donate $1 on my tax return to AZ for legal defense versus that fucktard in our White House?
Immigration: I'm ready to just burn Mexico to the ground and be done with it. Have you seen the way these fuckers drive? Ok, that was a little strong and I didn't really mean it - well, the first part anyway. Since the Idiot in Chief is threatening to blow off congressional due process once again and sign an executive order to give amnesty to the illegals, who needs Congress to begin with? The Idiot has czars to handle anything that that Congress can do, right?

College Sports: Where to even start? How about my very own US Regress person, Joe Barton. Buh-Bye, Joe. This will have to be a post in itself. Too much to say and I am officially out of time.


A-Holes Live Among Us

Crap...leave the blog for a week or two to take care of my walk-about life then comeback and the shit has changed.

The way to format and what ever changed. I had a little blog entry hammered out, hit the backspace button to retype something and the fucking hell began. It asked if I wanted to go to the previous page. What? No, I want to back space over the last word. I tried a couple times with the same result. What ever I did the last time emptied the post and left me with none of it.

Ok, so I'll be posting a few things in the near future. I have a lot to say and since most of it has been held tightly in the recesses of my good nature, I feel a volitile release brewing.

Garden: Dead
California: Are You Effing Serious?
Funeral: Yeah, I Went To One (Not the Garden One, But That Of A Friend)
Weather: Hotter than two rats making a porn flick in a wool sock.
The Administration: Oh, don't EVEN get me started.
Oil Spill: Two plus months in and...I'm Waiting, Mr. President.
Rumors of Wars: Obama on the war path with a general? What?
Arizona: Can I donate $1 on my tax return to AZ for legal defense versus that fucktard in our White House?
Immigration: I'm ready to just burn Mexico to the ground and be done with it. Have you seen the way these fuckers drive?
College Sports: Where to even start? how about my very own US Regress person, Joe Barton. Buh-Bye, Joe.

Ok, all I got for now. Oh, there's more, believe me. No time though.

Be back shortly.


Smadi Terror Plea Confuses Judge

I guess confused is the proper term.

District Judge Barbara Lynn says more time is needed to decide how much time our friendly local bomberman should spend in prison.


Well, his attorney says he's all roses and candy...

Defense attorney Peter Fleury said his client's crime doesn't fit the man. 

"Everybody that has met Hosam Smadi will tell you he is a nice, kind, generous man, and he's not political and he's not very religious and yet he did this terrible thing."

I'm a little stuck on the "nice, kind and generous" part. But I'm sure that once the smoking ears cool off, then I can allow the "...he's not political" part to cause FIRE TO SHOOT OUT OF MY EYES!!!

What am I missing? Does he say "please, thank you and excuse me" Does he bring chocolate chip cookies? Does he say grace before he eats? Perhaps he wears pink floral underwear? Doe eyes? C'mon!

This bastard said this and he's a nice guy...right?

BUT-But-but!!! There's more.
The defense attorney told the judge that Smadi has been diagnosed with a mental disorder. 

"We will present to the judge evidence that he suffers from schizophrenia as part of our argument that that lessens, in some way, his culpability," Fleury said. "But it's not going to be an excuse for the offense."
Doesn't that make things a little better? Of course it does. Makes me sorta wanna cry.

Just out of curiosity, I wonder what might have happened had Smadi not been as big of an idiot as he was by asking the freaking FBI to help him. Let's just suppose that he succeeded in blowing up the Fountain Place Tower and a thousand people were killed. In Texas?

It's an  I.M. Pei building...or so I am told...hmm... (if only there was a way I could find out...)

This guy would be rushed to the front of the death row line, if he even made it THAT far.

So, exactly what's the difference? Does it depend on whether he passed or failed?

Ok, so can kind of understand where the Judge might be. She's probably thinking that if she gives the guy life, then perhaps she gets her name on the terrorist hit list. However, maybe she should just let him go in west Texas somewhere with a tee shirt saying who he is and what he did, hand cuffed with a gallon of soapy water and a peeled banana.

Hell, I don't know about anything I see in the news anymore. If I didn't know any better, then I'd think a bunch of flippin' clown Smart Cars flipped over in front of every courts building, every city hall, every state legislature, and at every federal building at every level of the government. Then all at once, thousands of clowns bounced out of each of the Smart Cars and straight into political position.

Wait a minute...what if...

Are They F'ing Sh!tting Me?

Here's another example of our court system bartering away our freedom and national security.

Jordanian Hosam Smadi, the 19 year old terrorist who tried to use FBI provided fake explosives to blow up a Dallas skyscraper, has been offered a plea bargain of 30 years in prison as opposed to facing life in prison and a $250,000 fine. According to Dallas news WFAA who reported this after Smadi admitted his reasoning.
He was quoted in an FBI affidavit saying that blowing up the building would "shake the currently weak economy in the state and the American nation." In addition, he is quoted as saying there would be "psychological impacts for the loss of this beautiful building."
There will be a hearing today in order for the courts to decide if the plea bargain is acceptable. I can help them with this.

HELL NO!!! Fry the bastard!

Any bets on how the fucker got into this country?

There are Defacers of Green Backs Among Us

One of my colleagues approached me yesterday with a little story. He said he went to the ATM the night before and made a withdrawal . One of the twenties that was spat out of the machine was this one. This is the kind of civil disobedience that I find funny.

Click it to trick it up.

I just rolled back in my chair laughing.

All it took was a rubber stamp and red ink pad and someone made my whole freakin' day.


So I Am a Simpleton...

 ...and perhaps that I am; however, as simple as I may be, I have in me the core beliefs that are the very fabric of the REAL America. I get it. I was raised right as rain. To my parents: Thank you for that.

Some libtard Obama suck up by the moniker of Center Square or some shit says this among other things over at my buddy Cmblake6's blog. Right funny joke (in the blog post), too...at least I thought so.

"In fact, it is remarkable that he [Obama] managed to stop the recession dead in its tracks and turn around, with essentially no change in the deficit."

Wait...what? And there was more...much, much more.

Yeah, I sort of went off with the somber strings of America the Beautiful singing in he background. Ok, so that's a little melodramatic, but I was a little puffed up to say the least. I ended up hijacking his (cmblake6) comment section with the following. I hate it when I do that. But then there were a few others doing the same. I had no intentions of doing so, but it is what it is, I suppose.

Somehow I think you've forgotten something...like the truckload of expenditures that Obama has put off to the next president. Your mathematics are as flawed as those of the CBO and the rest of the remedial course flunkies in Washington.

Remarkable is what Reagan did to inspire capitalism and not just stop Carter's blunders.

Running over seas to every subversive and troubled nation in order to throw America and her people under the bus is not remarkable.

Spending hundreds of billions of alleged stimulus monies on marsh mice, lobsters and
[bald eagle killing] wind mills is not remarkable.

Cherry picking Obama supporting states for selective stimulus funding is not remarkable.

Sending monies to fake districts that do not exist is not remarkable.

Losing $350 billion of TARP monies is not remarkable with little other explanation than the bailing out foreign banks.

Penalizing those who have learned to succeed by supporting the US economy via job growth is not remarkable.

What's truly remarkable is that this idiot president has ANY support in spite of the monthly increase in jobless claims, the increase in racial divisions within America, the increase in the amount of Americans who will pay no taxes at all, the security threats against our home land security due to wide open borders, the infiltration into our government and our society of the very socialist ideology that generations of Americans have fought and died to prevent abroad, etc. The list goes on and on.

What's remarkable is that there are so many Americans in this country who have yet to understand how this same progressive mind set will land the entire United States of America in the same latrine that many of our states like California, Michigan, etc. are currently finding themselves.

What's remarkable is that the last time the conservatives held congressional power, the unemployment rate was...4.9%. Then the Democrats took over in 2006.

Yes, I place all of the current recession at the feet of the Democrat's socialistic ideology from which the "moderate" Republicans were so spineless that they could summon up little more than to raise a thimble full of  token resistance.

Our greatest generation is leaving us and with them the true values that made the United States the envy of every eye from every foreign square foot of real estate around the world.

What are we doing to thank them for the sacrifice they made and the examples they set?

We are throwing them and their values away without so much as the salute that they rightfully deserve. In fact, we are destroying their hard earned pensions and retirement savings in order to give it away to those who choose not to participate in the America that made us great, but rather the America that prefers the protests of "what about me" over patience, perseverance and hard work.

Center Square...YOU (and people like you) are what's wrong with this country.
EDIT: added the following...

His response:
Exactly my point. Thank you, Grackle. Can (some in) this group drop the pretense that they accept the legitimacy of this presidency? You don’t. Have the courage of your convictions. Just say it.
My response in his blog:

Your initial accusation in cmblake6′s post was, first of all, inflammatory by design. Secondly, you failed to notice the date and assumed that the implied result of the storyline was by assassination.

If your assumption, in response, was that I favor such actions, then you are mistaken.
Further, if you assumed that I favor the US Military to involve itself, there again, you are mistaken. These are fears, not desires.

It must only be by the people’s voice that he is stopped. When 60-70% of the people say “no” and government ignores them, then therein lies the possibilities for radical recourse. As I said, this is my fear and not my desire.

Dude, I accept his legitimacy as president as he was elected under Constitutional Law. I haven’t a clue whether his birth in this country is true or not, but it doesn’t really matter to me at this point.

I do not accept…

The radical appointments, and subsequent approval by a puppet Congress, of unqualified personnel to cabinet posts.
The unconstitutional appointment of various czars given similar powers as cabinet members without congressional approval.

The buying off of members of Congress by promise, accusation and threat.

Encouraging Congress to circumvent Constitutional Law to smash through dangerous and careless legislation for little other purpose than to leave a destructive mark on this country by, and I’m fairly certain of his goals here, economic racism.

The legitimizing of illegal aliens for the sole purpose of winning the next election. (Just wait, this one will most likely become the next step in our undoing.)

The backdoor deals, the blatant lies and manipulation of US law.

But mostly, the attempts to criminalize the people’s rights in his attempts to ignore, destroy and render weakness to the first ten amendments to the US Constitution.

He was elected, as far as we know, legally under the same US Constitution that he seeks to ignore, render useless and quite possibly destroy.

THIS is my objection. What you liberals fail to understand is that this president’s reign will end and the next president will rule under the same manner. Your kind will object mightily without considering that it was your kind that allowed it to persist.

You reap what you sow…and the pendulum will swing the other way.

Sadly, we are witnessing our own demise, if we don’t rise up and find a way to stop this nonsense.
His response:
@ Grackle: “These are fears, not desires.” I appreciate that clarification. I share your fears, as I think is abundantly clear. Whereas you see the fears arising from the actions of the president, I see them arising from extremist rhetoric. Thanks again.
My response:

It’s cause and effect, don’t you think?

Ignoring the people propagates civil unrest. America has had riot after riot over the last 250 years over the same sort of “wronged” proletariat.

Government, especially, BIG government can not mend the mind set of its public when the proletariat is responsible for funding such a beast.

When does big government overtake the ability of the masses to fund it? Is the objective to rid us of the private sector all together? What then? Soup kitchens, bread lines?

I can only look at where this appears to be heading. Sooner or later another riot of epic proportions is eminent. Why? Well, it’s not like America hasn’t seen a riot on some level every five years on average, because we have.

Under the previous administration, the left feared and violently (Seattle, WTO) protested the notion of one world government. Now they apparently support the very one who is trying to lead us there.

Does any of this make any sense to you?

My fears are that the next riots won’t be local. They will be national and simultaneous and in every city across America.

The Kent State shootings will look like a minor disagreement by comparison.

Look at recent riots in Denmark, France, Greece, etc. to illustrate the human psyche, regardless of left or right wing affiliation. Side with big government as you see fit, but do not blame the citizenry for reacting to government’s mistake in disregarding the will of the people.

And likely, it will end there, because he won't release my comments for public viewing. Only his response. Of course, if I ran a liberal blog and riled the constitutionalists to the point of response, then I guess I'd censor the rebuttal, too. Actually, I wouldn't. I'd post them whether I was in the right or wrong.

Personally, I think the dude is short in his thinking and is probably scurrying about trying to find himself or trying to find an appropriate rebuttal, since he's big on attempting to turn my words into his words in claiming such non-sense as "exactly my point."

I'm done with this jackass.


2012 The Mayan Calendar Hoax

If I am wrong on this, then there will be no one around to say, "I told you so."

There are too many problems in trying to correlate December 20-21, 2012 (winter solstice) of today's calendars with the ancient calendars of the Mayans or any other alleged calendars from antiquity.

First, and most important, did the Mayans begin their calendar somewhere in the middle of Earth time? Could they have possibly known that Earth is some 4.6 billion years old (give or take a millenia)? Or did they begin 13 plus trillion years ago at the beginning of the universe as we know it? Or are they marking since the dawn of Man? Do they even know the date of the dawn of Man? Perhaps they simply started day one at the beginning of the Mayan civilization.

If they knew the end, then they should have known the beginning.

If we can't pinpoint our humaniod beginnings on this planet, then how the hell could we even get started in nailing down the time of our demise? We damn sure don't have a clue about that and we do know some shit. A lot of shit.

See, this whole concept of time is twisted. We've been chasing it since we began our species on this planet. Personally, I think time is a non-existent in that, if I were to carry my watch to Mars, my watch would be so irrelevant that it would be reduced to jewelry and nothing more. This would be true of any point in the universe except here on Earth.

It seems to me that if there were some applicable date pointing to our demise and it could be known thousands of years ahead of time, then it would be based upon something larger than our civilization as a species. It would have to be some sort of universe driven hierarchical sequence laid out by some overlord or deity. I'm pretty sure that the Mayans had no clue that we would all die of AGW or thermo-nuclear war or President Obama or what ever else lies ahead of us.

Let's face it, our killer is not known yet and I doubt the Mayans could possibly know, since it didn't work out very well for them, if they expected to make it to 2012.

I find it difficult to believe that the Mayans would build a calendar out of stone from their beginning to what? Infinity? Hardly. No one could ever illustrate a calender detailing every day from a certain point in time to infinity. Point being, you build what you need for the moment and as time passes, you build the next pages or tablets.

I'm certainly not interested in obtaining a calendar for the year 2020 until I need it. I believe the Mayans, since they were hammering out of stone, probably lived the same way. Never mind that they are now an extinct civilization. If you ask me, I'd say they've already missed the end of their days. They over shot...by a very long way. If they knew about the end of time, then surely they could have predicted the end of, well, the Mayans. Right?

Now, I can understand why others would propagate such a hoax. Look how many have profited from books, movies, etc. Look how many WILL profit over the coming months and years?

My final item of skepticism is that we already know that our calendar is off from all other previous calendars but honestly, no one knows by how far we might off from the ancients. Many believe that the Mayan end correlates to October 2011, other believe we are off by 130 years (I have no clue if we are fore or aft).

Of course, there could be some dark metaphysical black druidian sorcerer with a magical staff made of pure prophecy and oraclical stuff out there who knows for a fact when we will witness the end, but my bet is that he would be mum on the subject until such time that he would maximize his benefit.

Personally, I think there are better calendars to follow than the Mayan's.

Like I said, if I am wrong, then be sure to rub it in my face on 12-22-2012.

While the Rat Spoke...

...another rat scurries.

As if we didn't already know that the White House had a pest problem?

From Fox News...

"Obama had just begun a Rose Garden statement lauding the end of a Senate filibuster on his financial overhaul when some kind of rodent dashed out of the bushes to his right, just outside the Oval Office."
Now, I don't want to speculate, but plenty of reporters jumped to the clammor...

"Once he was safely inside the Oval Office, a fierce debate erupted among the photographers and reporters who'd witnessed the dash. Was it a rat or a mouse? Or maybe a mole, or some other kind of related creature."
"...safely inside the Oval Office?" Wait...what? Do they seriously consider a rodent, a security threat?

I guess so, if the rat...



Silver Screen Series and Babes of Antiquity

 I wrote this sonnet some fifteen years ago in response to raging epidemic of plastic surgery. I'm not one to favor such surgeries unless there are honest medical reasons behind such decisions. Yeah, there are a few other acceptable reasons, but when a 20 year old goes for it for little reason other than to increase the bust line, then I object.

I just happen to prefer natural.


Remember bustle-butted, hanky flips,
and guarded garters, tight below the hips,
When braided corsets forged her hourglass?
The look became her vintage crassy class. 

She used these tools to work the hearts of men,
Her aire, pristine and pure, defiled the grin,
Of dapper, derbied gents all tailed and tied,
with Grandpa’s watch still vested by his side. 

Today, the gals are golden, all through and through.
The corset's gone, because their breasts are new.
Doc’s vacuum cleaner left no girdle lines,
To show beneath their vane augmented minds. 

Those debs of old, though plated, were, oh so bold,
These gals of gold, are solid, but bought and sold.  

So, I decided that perhaps I should start my weekly siren photo series. Besides, have you seen some of these silver screen ladies? Crikey!

Siren of the Week - Jean Harlow


Poem - Ode to the Bonnie McGillacutty


Aye, I sawr ‘er teesting’ the malt,

With lips o’ sweet nectahr, thar.

And a bosom ample in the fleshy,

Sa’isfaction, if only she wahr bare.

‘Er name esceeps me, but for,

A moment, now, then I tink,

‘Er ample wares o' plenty o’

I call 'er, Tits McGillacutty.

A fine Irish lass she wus,

“Er skin as white as milk.

‘Er treasures did define ‘er.

She peeked uh‘neath me kilt.

Th’ lass MacGillacutty,

With carls in ‘er tressy hair,

She war' a feisty milk maid,

An’ sported a lovely pair.


Found This By Accident, While I was Looking For Cleavage. Yeah, I Don't Get the Connection Either.


Governor Brewer: Obama, "Comic In Chief"

In case you missed it.

Brewer responds to the Idiot in Chief.

BofA and Others Offering Reduced Criteria for Illegals? AND, Oklahoma Is More Than OK, AND, I'm Hot for Governor Brewer (and I don't care what she looks like.)

Bank of America is Racists.

Verified by Snopes...

An individual closes his bank account over Bank of America's lending practices to illegal aliens. This is a verified occurrence according to Snopes.

Bank of America, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I want to cancel my account. I don't want to do business with you any longer.

The Bank: Why?

Customer: You're giving credit to illegal immigrants and I don't think it's right. I'm taking my business elsewhere.

The Bank: Well, Mr. Customer, we don't want to see you do that, but we can't stop you. I'll help you close the account. What is your account number?

Customer: (gives account number)

The Bank: For security purposes and for your protection, can you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?

Customer: No?

The Bank: Mr. Customer, I need to verify your information, but in order to help you, I'll need verification of who you are.

Customer: Why should I give you my social security number? The reason I'm closing my account is that your bank is issuing credit cards to illegal immigrants who don't have social security numbers. You are targeting that audience and want their business. Let's say I'm an illegal immigrant and you've given me a credit card. I have a question about it and call for assistance. You wouldn't be asking me for a Social Security number, would you?

The Bank: No sir, I wouldn't.

Customer: Why not?

The Bank: Because you would have pressed '2' to speak in Spanish. We don't ask for that information when calling in on the Spanish line.

Keep in mind several banks are using this same practice - Wells Fargo, Citi, etc.
OOOOH-Klahoma Rocks:
Over at Pajamas, there is this:
In 2007, Oklahoma passed an illegal immigrations bill. They did, really. And get this...nobody said a word about it.
"House Bill 1804 was passed by overwhelming majorities in both the House and Senate of the Oklahoma legislature. The measure’s sponsor, State Representative Randy Terrill, says the bill has four main topical areas: it deals with identity theft; it terminates public assistance benefits to illegals; it empowers state and local police to enforce federal immigration laws; and it punishes employers who knowingly hire illegal aliens.

Oklahoma is no longer “O.K.” for illegal aliens, Terrill observes. “When you put everything together in context,” he contends, “the bottom line is illegal aliens will not come here if there are no jobs waiting for them, they will not stay here if there is no government subsidy, and they certainly won’t stay here if they know that if they ever encounter our state and local law enforcement officers, they will be physically detained until they’re deported. And that’s exactly what House Bill 1804 does.”
Care to guess what happened? Well, you can check out the Greenspan graphical version map style showing the progression of unemployment over the difficult time span of the last couple of years, or you can read this:
"Since 1804 passed, Oklahoma has not suffered nearly as much economically as most of the rest of the U.S. In fact, the state can fairly be described, especially on a relative basis, as prosperous."
I don't think I need to go on about this much further, because anyone who might happen by, already knows what would happen if such plans were implemented nationwide. It's no secret, right?...Unless you are one of those who sleep late then get out of bed to little more than to plant your head in the sand.

Either way, go read it. Its worth it if for no other reason than to shove it down the throats of your nearest mind-fucked liberal.

More OOOOh-Klahoma Rocks:
Miss USA is crowned. Yep, there is no end to the prejudice, just ask Miss Oklahoma, Morgan Elizabeth Wollard, the competition's runner up. Actually, Ms. Woollard shot off her foot when she claimed to support states rights and publicly leaned toward support for Arizona in the illegal alien dust up by stating that states should have the right to pass such laws.

Baaad, girl! How dare you state such radical ideology in a public forum.

Meanwhile, Miss Michigan - Rami Fakih, the winner got a softball abortion question:
"Fakih was asked whether she thought birth control should be paid for by health insurance, and she said she believed it should because it's costly."
Well, isn't that profound. If that's not enough, as soon as the competition concluded, the cheesecake photos emerged as they usually do. Miss Fakih (By the way, is that pronounced "Fuckee?" - just curious.)

Arizona rocks, too. Well, Governor Brewer Does Anyway:
Oh, I would be remiss if I ignore the state of the Governor's office in Arizona. Governor Brewer, you rock, lady! Comic in Chief? Priceless.


The Trouble with the Civil War Letters and Texting While Driving

I stopped with the the Civil War letters for a couple of reason. First, in following the trek of the misfortunes Mr. Burns, I noticed that a couple of letters must have been mis-dated. By that I mean, that Lum had two letters dated 1863 when they obviously had to have been 1862. That being my hypothesis, I stopped until I could confirm the case.

Next, I figure this is not the proper depository for such serious business. Upon much thought or as much as I could fit into 425 seconds, I've decided to start the war letters over in a new all historic blog. Why? Well, simple. Some of what is in the letters is too much for what I intended for this depository. I also believe that they deserve some analysis and commentary. In order to do them some sort of honor, I will post them one at a time with additional factual extrapolations.

However, seriousness aside, there are too many comedic opportunities to be had by placing them in a bucket of mimic and satirical context. THAT, my friends, will be poured out here in this very collection of absent minded bloviated bisque.

The car? Oh, yeah. I saw a texter behind the wheel eat it big time this morning. The idiot was entering the freeway as I sped along in the right lane of three. As I approached the on coming entrance ramp I looked upon the ramp in time to see the car simple right turn off the roadway, down into the ditch, up the other side and into the over growth of bushery and tree.

Once its forward momentum came to a pause, the auto then began to turtle over back into the ditch and onto its top. I saw all the windows explode as I passed. Just passed the entry ramp, there were construction barriers in the form of thick concrete and no, I said no shoulder on which to stop and render aid.

I did the next best thing. I whipped out my archaic, yet still nifty, cell phone.and punched in 9-1-1. A half hour later, I heard the accident reported on the radio and was somewhat relieved that the word fatality was not in the report. Five minutes after that, an officer of the law telephoned me and the inquisition was on. My first question was, of course, "Is the person ok?" after which the officer said the person was fine.

So, the accident was a little disturbing for a spell, but now that I know that he/she is "fine" I can address the idiot as just that, an idiot.

Folks, I don't care how good you think you are at multi-tasking, attempting any sort of multi-task that averts your eyes off the roadway is not only stupid, but potentially deadly. This car was going perhaps 45-50 mph and whether it was texting or a coffee spill, this could have turned out much worse.

I advise all to keep the shenanigans in the blogosphere.

That is all.

I Heart...

Peppers by the peck...even if Peter (or Pedro) picked them.

Pickled, fried or stuffed...

Played like a pipe...oh yeah.
And sometimes I like even more, dying PETArs. Wait...what?

Leaf Beetles Are of the Devil, But Chili Peppers Are Devine

Each year for the last four or five years, I have canned (jarred) chili peppers. I grew up on pepper, so I have a very sincere relationship with the green and red meanies. I've eaten plenty of them from all varieties. There are probably only a couple that I won't every eat again. Usually anything from the far east will cause me to avert my attention. I ate one of those Thai peppers that about caught my hair on fire.

I ate a fresh picked scotch bonnet (habanero) once on a drunken bet and I am very cautious of those, too. However, they have such wonderful flavor and are superb in cooking - especially in queso (cheese dip) or Caribbean jerk sauces.

This isn't the exact bug, but its close. One got into my Fresno Chili plant yesterday. Fortunately, I have them in pots and can move them into the garage for a day until I can develop some sort of repellent.

Since I intend on actually using the chilies once they mature, I'll be using some sort of non-chemical solution. I found this over at Garden Guides, so I'll give it a try.

Step 1

Place 1 quart warm water, 1 Tbsp. cayenne pepper and 1 Tbsp. mild liquid detergent in a bowl. Chop the six cloves of garlic and the small onion into small pieces and add to the water in the bowl.

Step 2

Use a plastic spoon to stir your solution together well without bubbling up the dish liquid. Stir the mixture occasionally, every four to five hours, over the course of a day and let it sit overnight.

Step 3

Strain the mix through a mesh strainer into another bowl. Set a funnel over the opening of the spray bottle and pour the liquid portion of the mix into the spray bottle.

Step 4

Spray the undersides and tops of leaves, as well as the stems and anywhere you have seen pests gathering on the tomato and pepper plants. Avoid spraying the actual tomato and pepper fruits themselves. For the most impact, spray the solution in the morning when no rain is expected so the solution is on the plant for as long as possible.

Step 5

Repeat applications with this solution as often as needed to control infestation and keep your plants healthy.

I also saw a male and female version of Carolina Wrens hopping around in search of some sort of bug-eyed creatures. Too bad they didn't eat the a-hole beetle.

I chose the Fresno for a couple of reasons. First being that I don't think I've ever had one. I really wanted to grow something that is a little exotic from what I typically use in cooking. I'm well acquainted with the jalapeno, poblano, bell, anaheim, yellow banana, cherry, serrano, and others.

I was hoping to find a piquin (or one of its Texas native cousins that look like peas or some such). My grandmother use to grow them. Eh, I settled on these.

The Fresno Pepper - Also known as Caribe Guero and Kenyan. This chile is about the same size as a Jalapeño, only with broader shoulders. A bit hotter than the Jalapeño. 75 days to ripen. Plants grow to 30 inches. (Capsicum annuum).

But for now, I have pests to conquer.


Joe Legal vs Joe Illegal - A Lesson in Screwed Governmental Policy

Shamelessly stolen. I'm not sure of the origin, but I lifted it from  
Cmblake6, who is spot on target on all of his current posts.
 No editorializing necessary.
I like this one!


You have two families: "Joe Legal" and "Jose Illegal". Both families have two parents, two children, and live in California.

Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted. Jose Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash "under the table".

Ready? Now pay attention...

Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has $31,231.00.
Jose Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.00 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Jose Illegal now has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $24,031.00.
Jose Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.

Jose Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631.00.
Jose Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Jose Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.
Jose Illegal says, "We don't need no stinkin' insurance!" and still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.
Jose Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.

Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.
Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.

Joe Legal's and Jose Illegal's children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children's lunches while Jose Illegal's children get a government sponsored lunch. Jose Illegal's children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal's children go home.

Joe Legal and Jose Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Jose did not pay.

Do you get it, now?
If you vote for or support any politician that supports
illegal aliens...
You are part of the problem!

Chili Mac Beret? Not likely. They Might Just As Well Make Them All Powder Pink

Since Doc Snarky posted this pic with all appropriate verbiage and stuff, I figured I'd just link him up instead of rehashing it.

I wonder when these subversives will become listed in Napalatano's (or whatever the fuck her name is) book of domestic terrorist? - even though most of them are proabably not technically domesticated.

I'd bet biscuits to boots that if the Tea Partiers wore berets, the national guard would be summoned to squealch the uprising. Hell, if they weren't so frenchy gay, I'd go get myself one of them just for a laugh.

Oh, because I'm a curious sort, I figured I'd check up on the History of the Beret. I suspected that since the word is spelled b-e-r-e-t that it must be the softy french that came up with such fashionable runway garb...and in a rare moment of clarity, I was right.
"Although worn as military headgear in ancient Greece, the modern origin of the beret is traced to the Basques, people living on both the French and Spanish sides of the Pyrenees Mountains."
So, I guess that when the Mexicans were beating up the French, they didn't dislike them so bad that they resorted to banishing all things French, but rather adopted the head gear?

Not Mexican and definitely not cool.

Even Che's grand daughter got in on the action.

Ok, a little cool, but he looks better in a helmet or a cowboy hat.

Even the UN is in on the frenchy gay look - one feather away from macaroni (or is it angel hair pasta)?

For me? I'll pass on the beret. Give me a dang ball cap with a schnazzy offensive logo of some sort (American flag) and call it chili-mac.


 There are acceptable exceptions...


Toiling Away The Day, The Day

Work and research.

That's about it. Even the dart games are suffering. My father has buried me in family historical documents of which I have been reading and researching associated peoples, myths, legends, etc.

Much of our father's heritage goes back to Scotland. I have roots in Massachusetts as early as the 1630s. In the 1700s, David Burns sold the land the federal government on which the White House, The Old State, War and Navy Building, The Executive Building and surrounding grounds now exist.

Apparently, there is a letter form Franklin (or Jefferson) to President George Washington quoting something like, "...the obstinate Mr. Burns...," refuses to sell for a fair price. I've seen an old transcript of the letter, but haven't been able to locate it. Supposedly, the original letter resides at an old museum near the White House and in the same museum, the mantle from the fire place of the Burns' home.

Otherwise, there are connects to the poet Robert Burns in Scotland, but the exact links have not been established. Many family members believe that Robert Burns' offspring bear close resemblance to some of the current alleged descendants - noting a rare-ish chin dimple or some such. The more respected researchers in our family place the connection as a direct line to Robert Burns' grandfather, which is more believable for me since his grandfather spelled his name Burnes as did our earliest American Burnes' settlers.

I guess if you go back far enough most all of us are related in some manner.

Eh, its interesting enough reading material that I have spent what time I have had this week away from occupational work in doing so.

I watched the movie Ride with the Devil last night. Good movie. It's about the Civil War goings on about the Missouri/Kansas borders. The shear brutality by which the people lived 150 years ago seems so foreign to me. Much of what I watched in the movie paralleled the letter transcripts. I enjoyed the movie.

Tobey McGuire played a decent role as did Jewel, the country singer. (I had to chuckle when the house missus said with a feigned note of distress, "They're going to kill Spiderman?")


Economics in Obama's America

I got this in email. I've never seen a better illustration of how Obama hoodwinks the average American than the way this college student describes Obamanomics.

Check this from Wimp Dot Com.
(be sure to have your sound on)

Now, we all know that it's Bush's fault...or do we?

Chuck Green knows something about that though.
(click to read)


And No, It's Not Because I am...


 ...it's because Charlize Theron is golden.

Did you know that if you click this image, your monitor will melt into a blob worthy of stick-science?

Offensive Tee Lands Latina In Jail

With all the bitching about how Americans in America are disrespecting the Mexicans, I found this amusing.

According to The Lake County Sun (Chicago suburbia).
"LaPenta, 19, was jailed this week by Lake County Associate Judge Helen Rozenberg who held her in contempt for wearing the T-shirt in her courtroom. It was emblazoned with the words: 'I have the P**** so I make the rules.'"

Here is the person and the criminal tee shirt in question.

First of all, I can't believe anyone would not dress appropriately for court, even if it was traffic court. I realize this Latina wasn't there for her own issues, but seriously...why?
"The judge asked me if I thought the shirt was appropriate for the courtroom," LaPenta said. "I said I didn't think it was offensive but said I wouldn't have worn it if I was the defendant."
Actually, though, I sort of find it a little strong for a judge to just toss someone in jail for wearing an offensive shirt to court. I could see a charge of contempt and a fine or simply being dismissed from the court room.

I have a feeling that the charge had more to do with what was said at the bench between the Judge and Ms. LaPenta. My bet is that LaPenta said something disrespectful and the judge reacted.

Side Note:
She said she wasn't trying to be offensive or disrespectful, but frankly, I find wearing THAT tee shirt ANYWHERE to be offensive.


Speaking of Offensive Language...Calf Fries ARE OFFENSIVE

I've kind of always been offended by the term "redneck".

Being a Southerner, I've been addressed as such various times in my life. I think most notable was during a trip to New York. I was there on sort of a factory tour trip where a manufacturer of a certain engineering specification product will fly engineers form all over the country and show off their factory. Usually, these free trips include some sort of fun outing, which may include fine dining, a Broadway play, a sporting event, or some other kind of way to buy you off for specifying their products.

During the NY trip, The Saturday included a day at West Point for the Army home coming game. While I have to admit, this was probably my favorite of such trips, there were a few tense moments based on the simple reason that I am from Texas.

This event started with a meet and greet ice breaker that takes place in a large tent sponsored by our hosts. One of the hostesses representing the company that paid for our trip approached me. The lady knew three things about me; my name, my birth state and that I carry a "slight" Texas drawl when I speak (I blame my parents for this, unless I am out in the country with my cousins, then it become a source of pride - I know and never mind).

"Are you a Redneck?" she asked in a very, very heavy Bronx dialect. Keep in mind that I was wearing a white starched shirt, black slacks, a tweed sport jacket and a rather fashionable (at the time) Jerry Garcia tie...oh, and my "Sunday-go-to-meetin'" black shoes. I looked like any other business type doing business.

I paused for an uncomfortable moment and simply said, "No, ma'am, but I know a few," hoping that she would move on to a business related subject. But she didn't.

"Who's that comedian that says, "You are a redneck if...?"

"Jeff Foxworthy?"

"Yeah. That guy." She went on in an attempt at a few of his redneck jokes - and rather badly, too. I just stood there, looking around for an escape. I kept nodding and smiling in spite of the tense moment. She had no idea that the term "redneck" is offensive to some.

She paused to think of another slur and I pounced on the chance to interrupt and change the direction of the conversation, "So, have you been to many Army football games?"

"Like, do I come here often? she asked with a big smile and her eyebrows sort of inquisitively pinched.

"Perhaps, I guess." I answered not knowing where she might go next.

"Surely, being from Texas, you've been to a football game before," which came out of her mouth like "beef-owah" - I swear.

"Hundreds, I'd say." I said still plotting my escape.

Being sort of a bird watcher, I noticed a large raptor flying in over the Hudson River toward us and I gazed upward as it made its way almost straight above us and the grassy banks. She noticed my reaction as watched upward. "That's a hooh-awk."

"I was wondering." I said still watching the bird.

Perhaps it was the hooh-wot doo-ogs or the keg beer, but she put her had on my arm and asked me where we were staying for the night. I told her that I thought we were staying in the city at Times Square.

"Too bad," she said.

"Why is that?"

"You seem like a nice guy and not at all what I expected."

"What do you mean?" I was beginning to feel even less comfortable with the situation and was really curious about what she expected by meeting a real live Texan.

"You don't seem very country to me."

"Perhaps that's because I've spent my entire life living in a metropolitan area of about 8 million people?" The look on her face was priceless. She dropped her hand form my arm and put in on her hip. I wasn't sure of that body language, but at this point, I couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say next.

"Manhattan has 8 million people."

"I'm aware of that."

"The only difference with the DFW area is that it is spread out over a large area and not stacked up on top of itself."

She smiled, "You are a very 'int-er-esting gooh-eye. Are you shooh-wah you want to go all the way to Manhattan for the night?"

Ok, so this whole conversation was a flirt on her part. I'm guessing that not only was she looking for over night company, but that she probably does this regularly with the factory visitors. There is no way she would ever think that the conversation was insulting to me. The worst part was that our group (from all over the US) would be together for the football game, the after party on Times Square and all the bus time in between. She found a way to be next to me the entire trip in spite of my polite attempts to hang out with the California group.

I really don't know where I am going with all of this except that I have always found offensive, the term redneck not to mention various other locale related stereotypical terms regardless of the locale.

Plus, it gives me a chance to post this picture of a redneck wading pool.

A redneck giving directions..."Naw, man. It's where old man Duece's place use-tah-be before the farr."

No words.

Condos? Apartments? Fire hazard? ...No worries about the fire hazard. I'm sure they all have the redneck fire alarm system installed, which includes an unopened package of Jiffy-Pop popcorn attached to the ceiling in the kitchen...and over the still.

My cousins live out in the country and have spent their lives driving tractors, running cattle ranches and spending the weekends hungover from nights at the local metal building dance halls. I have to say though, that I have found my weekend visits to the farm educational. After all, I have personally participated in some very interesting activities like branding calves, de-horning calves, medicating cattle and horses, riding fences on horseback, feeding livestock of all varieties (goats, chickens, ginny fowl, nieces and nephews, etc.) and collecting dew berries, because you can't make dew berry pie without dew berries.

I just wish I had passed on the time I spent drinking my cousins Lone Star beer, Pearl Light beer (with salt on the top of the can for good reason), Wabble Water Wine (made form native Texas Mustang Grapes (very sour)...not to mention the time he made me breakfast and didn't tell me what it was until after I ate it.

Somehow, eggs scrambled with cubed chunks of fried ..um...fries would have left me passing on the morning meal and in fact caused me to pass on the noontime meal just because...and after the debate over why I would go without lunch, he felt the need to go to the freezer and show me a bowl of fresh cut fries with the statement, "I usually just throw them to the dogs, but since this is a special occasion and all..."

I think I'm gonna be sick again.