Ministries Are Little More than Departments of Menial Tasks

Every where you look, there is a ministry of some ilk.

This is a subject on which I have given much thought and consideration. I'm dead serious about this, too. Everyone knows that there are religious ministries, but did you know that there are all sorts of ministries in government? There are religious ministries AND government ministries.

I guess the conception of such thought-provoking wonderment occurred when I was in the coffee biz and learned that the country of Costa Rica way down there in Central American has, and get this, a Coffee Ministry. It's true. No really...Costa Rica has a prime coffee industry and they also have a ministry to regulate this industry.

What I found peculiar about this particular Coffee Ministry is that they have standards in their coffee. I believe that, because they make the some of the best coffee beans on Planet Earth. While I don't know the process by which they rank the beans, I do know that coffee beans deemed by the Ministry not worthy for export are required to be dyed blue and stored for domestic use only. That's right, Costa Rica Blue (sort of like Colombia Blue, but different). My deductive prowess concluded with the notion that all cups of coffee served within the borders of Costa Rica would therefore be blue. I know. Strange, right?

Ok, so, some years later, I was looking at a BBC newscast while trapped in an airport layover. The pretty lady on the screen was prattling on about the British Parliament and various British ministries like the Ministry of Silly Walks.


















The Brits also have ministries for other forms of regulation like Labour, Transport, Business/Enterprise/Regulatory Reform, Energy/Climate Change, Children/Young People/Families, Culture/Media/Sport, Innovation/Universities/Skills (formerly Innovation/Science?) and more. The thing about British ministries is that they (ministers and secretaries, I guess, or lords or whips?) rearrange the names and functions of the ministries about every six to eight months. Every six months? It's a wonder they get anything else done.

[Interjection: How the hell do the British determine which division of departments go with which other division of departments? I think there is probably much debate over this, because of the astonishing number of times that they become rearranged under the official "reshuffle" measure. Energy and Climate Change? Culture and Media and Sport?]

In the US, we don't have ministries in government. It's not allowed, because of a Constitutional law that says something about separation of church and state, even though it never says anything about separation of church and state. So instead, they named them Cabinets to throw everybody off.

Cabinets are little more than departments for the administration of menial tasks. How do I know this? Because like every ministry, cabinets have secretaries in charge of everything deemed not important enough to bother involving the President. I guess everything except those which are carried out by czars. They have menial tasks responsibilities, too. Of course, then it makes perfect sense that if there is a Secretary of the Interiors and a Secretary of Environmental Protection and Secretary of Education and also that they are considered Directors of Menial Tasks, then a czar like the Properly Inflated Tire Czar and and czar like the Association for Community Organization Reform Now Czar (other duties include the President of the United States) are comparable to Assistants to the Director of Menial Tasks. Mere minions, right?

I guess there is a need for all the ministries. After all, somebody has to be around to tell other people to "dye those coffee beans blue", "34.5 psi" and "go to the cemetery and write down some names."

My point to all this fiddling about is that our US cabinet members are secretaries who have been given full charge of all things menial. I mean, would you put any of these people in full command of anything above the office of Director of Sheep Tending or the Office of the Secretary for the Prevention of Fly Tipping?









President Obama's Cabinet 2009 (source: White House dot gov)

In case you didn't notice that I mentioned Fly Tipping, well, I did mention it. In my searches for what ever looks interesting, I found this story (and I'm not making this up): Lib Dems Want Tougher Laws To Tackle Fly Tipping. Now, I grew up in Texas and I know all about the evils of Cow Tipping, even though my crack sources tell me that cow tipping is apparently a bigger problem in Tennessee.


I had no idea about Fly Tipping. I guess this is a huge problem in the UK, because the fuss has caused many UK Democrats like Group Leader Cllr John Macklin to say thing like:

“I’ll be speaking to the Labour members who are responsible for fly tipping and enforcement ...to see how all of these portfolio areas can better tackle the problem."

He went on to say and rightfully so...

“Our street cleaning is provided on a much smaller budget than some neighbouring London boroughs so we can’t afford to waste money collecting fly tipping. The Council’s current rates for catching flytippers are not nearly enough..."

They even made some schnazzy signs.














The Waltham Forest Liberal Democrats have more on the problem with Fly Tipping.

We cannot be out done by the Brits in this pandemic criminal activity. Something needs to be done. I hereby nominate Little Eric Holder to the Office for the Prevention of Cow Tipping and with it come the full obligatory powers including duties for associated criminal activities like Goat Fainting.



And, because it is raining, I nominate her as Secretary of What Ever She Wants...













Sorry, I strayed a little off topic. I guess what I am really trying to say with this post is that it's Sunday morning, it's raining and, of course, I'm out of coffee.

Dangit!